you’ll lose your hearing but you too can save a tree

Episode 79: 15 Seconds To Save A Tree


There are six garbage cans in our office. Two for each of us (which means, for all you people out there that struggle with math, there are three of us sharing our office): one black one for garbage and one blue one for recycling. The recycling cans have stickers on them to tell us what can be recycled: yes to plastic bottles, but no to the lids. It’s one of the ways that our company tries to be “green.”

I recently heard from a reliable source about a company that had the recycling cans for their employees as well. At the end of the day, though, it all went into the same can.

I haven’t followed the cleaning crew to see where OUR recycling ends up.

When I was in elementary school, I had a debate teacher that was going to teach us all how to save the world. I went home and told my Dad he needed to recycle. I even suggested that he should pray about it. I was very serious.

Today, I have zero recycling cans in my home. I know. I’m terrible. But we only have a big dumpster in the parking lot for garbage, no recycling dumpster. So if I tried to recycle, I’d have to take it to my parents or to work. I get too much junk mail to drag that with me to work each week.

We received a company-wide email the other week. It was pleading with all employees that go to the bathroom at work. It begged folks to use the hand dryers instead of paper towels. “It only takes 15 seconds to save a tree.” You mean to tell me that when I use one of those scratchy paper towels, I kill a tree? We are not very efficient with our trees then.

Also, have you actually used those high-speed dryers? They’re so loud that I lose my hearing for a good 26 seconds after using them and then have to deal with a ringing in my ears for the next several hours. They need to give us noise-reducing headphones in order to use those safely.

Saving trees is dangerous stuff.