toe

Late to my Appointment – Blame the Toe


DOC: You’re late, hop-a-long.

LRE: Whatever. I blame my toe.

DOC: That’s the easy way out. Why don’t you try taking some responsibility already?

LRE: Well, you’re on one today.

DOC: What’s that supposed to mean… “on one.” On one what?

LRE: No clue. Don’t worry about it.

DOC: So your toe really made you hours late?

LRE: No. I just wanted to make you wait.

DOC: So considerate.

LRE: Oh, wait… AND it’s getting rather crazy at work lately. I hope they don’t make me come in on Christmas.

DOC: Would they?

LRE: Probably not.

DOC: Phew. So how is the toe?

LRE: Well, get this. I have green bone.

DOC: Whaaa? From eating too much asparagus?

LRE: No, no, no. That gives you stinky pee. TOTALLY different than green bone.

DOC: So does it mean that anybody who pinches you on St. Patrick’s Day deserves to get slugged?

LRE: Totally. I’m ALWAYS festive for THAT holiday.

DOC: Well, that’s interesting.

LRE: I know. The surgeon told me. It took him years and years before he finally figured out what caused it: Minocycline. Hooray for taking pills and being affected forever at the structural level.

DOC: Oo… let’s look it up. See? I bought an iPhone.

LRE: You don’t believe my surgeon?

DOC: Sure, why not. I mostly just wanted to brag to you about how I now have an iPhone and you DON’T.

LRE: Brag away; whatever.

DOC: Don’t pout. Oh here, here’s an article.

LRE: What’s it say?

DOC: Yep. Your surgeon is right. It says that bone discoloration is pretty rare, though. Oh COME on.

LRE: What?

DOC: I’d have to buy the article if I wanted to actually read whether or not the color affects the ability of your bone to heal.

LRE: Or you could just ask me what my surgeon said.

DOC: Okay, fine. What did your surgeon say?

LRE: That it doesn’t affect it.

DOC: That’s what he said.

LRE: So…

DOC: Okay, well, that was fun.

LRE: Yeah… looks like you really like your new toy.

DOC: FOR SURE. So what’s that you’ve got? A picture?

LRE: Yes. I brought it in for show and tell.

DOC: Okay, let’s have a look see.

LRE: Right… here’s my toe now.

It’s a Two-Fer Blog: A quote AND some rambling


I know, I’ve been missing in action for a little bit there from the blogging world. If you check in daily, you’ve been really lonely without me. So to say sorry, it’s a double entry today. First, the quote of the week:

“What if there’s a snowstorm and you live in Bountiful or Layton or where the elephants go to die like Fred?” –the Boss

Some of my coworkers live REALLY far away, apparently. I didn’t know that we had elephants in Utah besides in Hogle Zoo.

And now for a little bit of rambling:

So Saturday, there was quite a lovely little snowstorm and my toe did not appreciate it very much. I had quite a lengthy to-do list and I checked outside every ten minutes. I wasn’t looking for the snow to let up. I was looking for a snow plow to free my car. By two p.m., I finally braved the 4-6 inches of powder with my crutches and managed to slip and slide my rear-wheel drive Volvo out of the parking lot. Boo to an apparently crappy HOA that can’t get the lot plowed in a decent hour. Would they decide they’d need to charge me $100/month more just to do that? (I still can’t believe I didn’t hear about the meeting when they appointment board members because I would SO be on it.)

I just wanted to share with you that having toe surgery in time for the snow is a little bit of an issue. Thankfully, I can now ditch the crutches (the doctor said it would be okay, Grumma). That doesn’t mean, though, that if the snow falls any higher than my little surgical “boot” that my toes won’t get all wet and cold. Oh, poor me.

I went to my post-op appointment today. They took out the stitches, I found out I have green bones from minocycline, and I saw lots and lots of people in there with “boots” on, too. Then I looked at those people and saw all older or overweight people. I’ll stop complaining because thankfully, I’m still fairly young and in shape so it’s for durn sure that it’s easier for me to get around in the snow with a bum toe than it is for those other people.

Stay tuned for an updated x-ray of the new bionic toe! (probably Thursday)

No Foot Modeling in My Future


“Yeah, Lauren… we’re just going to have to keep you in socks.” ~Conder

Apparently, my feet aren’t particularly attractive. Stay tuned for a post-surgery foot pic tomorrow. It’s HOT!


Political Link of the Day: “Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald goes after his second Illinois governor

Man, I’m glad I don’t live in Illinois:

He’s already successfully prosecuted another Illinois governor, George H. Ryan

Appointment Cancellation Fee: $26.90


There’s no appointment with the DOC today… because of an appointment with a real LIFE doctor who’s going to cut up my toe and then put it back together. Does anybody have a guess what the WORST part of surgery is? Think about it for a bit.

Feel free to bring me crossword puzzles at my parents so I have something to do tonight and tomorrow.

And the answer to the question above: having to FAST.

I AM SO HUNGRY.

No political link today either because I AM SO HUNGRY and can’t concentrate long enough to read anything online.

Episode 26: Things Around the Office


You wouldn’t be surprised if I told you that IT personnel have some strange items decorating their cubes, right? Because if you were surprised, then you CLEARLY don’t know anybody working in IT.

I took a BRIEF stroll up and down some of the rows at work and collected this little list of some of these decorations:

  • Pictures of the night support guy scrubbed in for surgery
  • A cordless drill
  • Call of Duty 4 poster
  • Postcards from across the country (where her coworkers have been while she was NOT on PTO)
  • Foam-missile guns
  • Matrix poster
  • Matrix poseable figures
  • Ant Farm
  • Computer problem resolution flow chart t-shirt
  • LCD picture frames (lots of these)
  • A troll doll with bright green hair

Next time I’m here late, when the lights have turned off, the normal people* have gone home and the only sounds are from spinning hard-drives, I may wander around and take pictures of people’s cubicles. There is one in particular that would blow you away and make you wonder where his work surface is.

As far as my desk? Well, I’ve got several different calendars, myriad pictures, some certificates of appreciation, a Get Fuzzy cartoon, an xkcd cartoon, and an x-ray of my toe.

So what do you think? How’s my toe look? Who wants to bring me dinners following surgery?


Political Link of the Day: “Obama Team Sheds Light on New Administration


*normal for IT is sort of stretching it, but go with me on this one