therapy thursdays

Quiet Sunday


The boys are sleeping. It’s Sunday afternoon. Dom is in his crib, Nathan on our bed, Pogi in the sun in the front room.
I’m on the couch in the TV room writing this with my phone (watch out for typos).
I signed up for a class on Thursday nights.  It’s called, “Writing Memoirs”. It starts in February and I’m really looking forward to it. It helps, a lot, to have something in February to look forward to.
But I wonder: what should I write about? Childhood? Struggles? Losses? Motherhood? Joys? Certain people? Certain adventures?
What would you write about?

A Dreadful Therapy Appointment


(Thanks for the great idea, Kaakun.) Bring on the DOC for the FINAL Therapy Thursday! He has NO clue what is about to happen and really, neither do I, which is probably more a testimony to my need for REAL therapy than just a funny thing to say. Let us begin.

DOC: It’s about time you came back here. We probably have mountainous issues to work though.

LRE: Or we don’t.

DOC: Sure we do. It’s been so long I can’t believe you even walked in here on two feet.

LRE: How would you have expected me to come in? Crawling?

DOC: Maybe.

LRE: Sorry to disappoint.

DOC: I’ll get over it.

LRE: Well that’s good you’ll get over THAT.

DOC: Why the emphasis on the last word there?

LRE: I have something else to disappoint you with.

DOC: I bet you do. You have Therapy Tuesdays now, too. Is that it?

LRE: No. Once a week was MORE than enough.

DOC: Why the emphasis on MORE?

LRE: I’m in an emphatic mood today.

DOC: I don’t like your emphatic mood.

LRE: You probably shouldn’t.

DOC: Why? What does it mean?

LRE: Who is John Galt?

DOC: WHAT?

LRE: Whoa there, Doc. Don’t start yelling YET.

DOC: STOP EMPHASIZING WORDS.

LRE: STOP YELLING AT ME.

DOC: YOU STOP FIRST.

LRE: NO! YOU STARTED IT.

DOC: DON’T YOU USE EXCLAMATION POINTS WITH ME!

LRE: WHY NOT?!

DOC: DOUBLE PUNCTUATION?!? THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS!!

LRE: (deep breath) Calm down, DOC.

DOC: (trembling) I can’t. Something’s about to happen and I can just FEEL it. It’s going to be dreadful.

LRE: Let me just get some paper that I brought with me out of my pocket then.

DOC: Gulp.

LRE: Did you just SAY gulp?

DOC: Yes. It’s much more dramatic than just gulping.

LRE: Whatever. Here’s what I brought.

DOC: Oh dear. That looks dreadful.

LRE: You don’t even know what it is yet.

DOC: I have an unmanageable fear of folded up pieces of paper.

LRE: Must have been rough when you would make paper airplanes then, huh?

DOC: I NEVER made them.

LRE: Okay. Back to this dreadful paper of mine. It’s the results of my survey so far.

DOC: Survey?

LRE: Here, read the top.

DOC: “Which of the below would you like to see replace Therapy Thursdays?” REPLACE? ME?! G. U. L. P.

LRE: So now you’re spelling gulp?

DOC: YOU’RE MEAN.

LRE: But look how pretty I made the charts.

DOC: Well, that’s true. They are nice.

LRE: So next week, I’m going to have a replacement based on people’s choices.

DOC: Well, I guess the best I can do now is just add my input. Can I take the survey, too?

LRE: That’s it? You’re not going to throw a fit, toss me out the window or run screaming from the building?

DOC: No. There will be no tantrums, defenestrating, or… wait, we’re in a building?

LRE: Where did you imagine we were?

DOC: In a cabin up in the mountains with birds chirping outside.

LRE: Okay. Go to your cabin. And yes, you can take the survey… until next week. Here it is: Finding a Therapy Thursdays Replacement.

surveyresults

surveyresults1

Replacing Therapy Thursdays


I need YOUR help, internet. I’m disillusioned with Therapy Thursdays and would like to replace these blog entries, either with a new therapy theme or with an entirely new idea. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

You always wanted to help out with the direction of this awesome blog, right? GREAT. Now’s your chance. It’s a fun survey and ONLY one page so it’s not overly loquacious as might be expected from me.

Thanks in advance for your help, friends!

Comment NOW to Get a Chance to Write my Paper


DOC: Missed ya last week.

LRE: I know, right? Must be rough having to go so long without seeing Larrie.

DOC: Tell me about it.

LRE: I just did.

DOC: Well, how did the surgery go?

LRE: Great. Why don’t you just read my blog yourself and find out?

DOC: Because I don’t actually exist.

LRE: Good to know that you’re finally grasping this concept.

DOC: Yup; I’m an old dog and that’s a new trick.

LRE: Amazing.

DOC: So I was thinking that we could talk about how you’re handling the stress of the holidays.

LRE: Stress? Are you kidding me?

DOC: Um, no. I think I was pretty serious.

LRE: Okay, fine. Perhaps I should be more stressed and that would force me to really sit down and get my final paper written already. Instead of doing it the night before.

DOC: So you’ll never not procrastinate?

LRE: Maybe; watch out with your double negatives.

DOC: Double negatives?

LRE: Don’t worry about it. Just being an English nerd.

DOC: An English nerd who hasn’t written her paper yet.

LRE: Well, it’s just a little bit difficult getting excited over a paper on XML and technical writing. I’ve done some research, but getting to the next step and putting together a first draft just hasn’t happened yet.

DOC: Isn’t it a bit difficult to write a first draft the night before it’s due?

LRE: Perhaps. It just means that the first is very similar to the final draft.

DOC: Good luck getting that published.

LRE: Gee, thanks, mister.


Political Link Cartoon of the Day: “Shouldn’t Somebody Be Rowing?

Appointment Cancellation Fee: $26.90


There’s no appointment with the DOC today… because of an appointment with a real LIFE doctor who’s going to cut up my toe and then put it back together. Does anybody have a guess what the WORST part of surgery is? Think about it for a bit.

Feel free to bring me crossword puzzles at my parents so I have something to do tonight and tomorrow.

And the answer to the question above: having to FAST.

I AM SO HUNGRY.

No political link today either because I AM SO HUNGRY and can’t concentrate long enough to read anything online.

Blame it on the Toe


DOC: Come on in.

LRE: Gee, thanks, mister.

DOC: Sure, let’s get started. I have a quiz for you.

LRE: Oh… do I have to use a number two pencil to take it?

DOC: No. I don’t own a scantron-reader thingamajig.

LRE: Right and you wouldn’t want to actually figure out what it means that I answered C for question 7, but D for question 12.

DOC: Course not. I wouldn’t get paid for THAT effort. Instead, I’ll just ask you the questions.

LRE: Fun.

DOC: No. This is SERIOUS business here.

LRE: Oh, all right. Let me just put on my serious face. … Ready.

DOC: First question: How often do you have weeping spells?

LRE: Did you just say weeping spells? Really?

DOC: That’s not a very serious serious face.

LRE: Well YOU’RE the one who just said weeping spells.

DOC: Whatever. Just answer the question.

LRE: Fine. I ONLY have weeping spells when somebody steps on the third toe on my right foot or when I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

DOC: Okay… I’ll write down: occasionally.

LRE: That’s not what I said.

DOC: Next… Do you feel frightened or panicky much?

LRE: Well, I get all panicky, sweaty and heart-beat-fastery when I check the money in my retirement accounts.

DOC: You do? And you have retirement accounts?

LRE: No, not really and yes, yes I do.

DOC: What about living all by yourself? That doesn’t frighten you?

LRE: Not even. I heart it.

DOC: All right. I’ll put down ‘No, not at all.’ And next… Do you still enjoy the things that you used to?

LRE: The things that I used to do…

DOC: You can’t answer seriously by singing.

LRE: I never do them no more, baby.

DOC: Why not?

LRE: Sorry… still singing. Well, I used to could enjoy soccer more because my toe didn’t hurt. And I used to enjoy work more. Oh wait, no, scratch that. If I tell you that I MIGHT enjoy work, you will think I’m crazy.

DOC: Fine. You don’t enjoy soccer as much…

LRE: BECAUSE OF MY TOE.

DOC: And I apparently didn’t hear anything about work.

LRE: Right.

DOC: Well, the rest of these questions are boring so I say we’re done here.

LRE: Oh good. My toe was starting to hurt.

DOC: Maybe you should get that fixed.

LRE: You THINK?


Political Link of the Day: “MSNBC’s Tag for Now: ‘The Power of Change’

Why do I Blog?


DOC: Hey Lare… glad you could make it.

LRE: Gee thanks, Doc. You’re so informal today and I see you’re not wearing shoes. Your socks don’t match.

DOC: I learned that from your friend, Mademoiselle Drew.

LRE: How do you know her?

DOC: I know everybody who is so kind to comment on your precious little blog.

LRE: Oh.

DOC: Speaking of blogs—I’m curious. Why do you blog?

LRE: Why not?

DOC: Because everyone else does it?

LRE: Do you think that kind of thinking would sway me?

DOC: Well, not when it comes to politics.

LRE: Okay; you KIND OF know me.

DOC: But that’s not why you blog then, huh?

LRE: No. Do you want to keep guessing?

DOC: Is it for money?

LRE: Ha. That’s funny. It would be nice if my blog paid some bills for me, but that’s certainly not the case.

DOC: Fine then. I give up.

LRE: I blog so that when I get together with my friends, we don’t have to spend all of our time together catching up on what we did over the past year.

DOC: You only see your friends once a year?

LRE: Certain friends, yes, because they all moved so far away.

DOC: Out of state?

LRE: Not all of them—they moved to Daybreak and Syracuse.

DOC: Oh, I see. Yeah, that’s EXTREMELY far away.

LRE: Tell me about it.

DOC: And so they have already read about all of your imaginary therapy and you, therefore, don’t have to update them?

LRE: Well, I guess they still have to ask about my riveting dating life since I choose not to indulge such juicy details.

DOC: Like the “pathetic” Batman at the Halloween party?

LRE: Hey, how’d you know? Did Mademoiselle Drew tell you?

DOC: Okay, so you blog so your friends will read it. And they blog?

LRE: Mostly.

DOC: So is that the only reason you blog?

LRE: No, I also do it in hopes that my family will read it.

DOC: In hopes, huh?

LRE: Pretty much. Let’s just say that the ca-hoolest members of my family read it.

DOC: And the other members…

LRE: Should start reading it. Somebody should tell them.

DOC: Since I’m not real, I guess I can’t help you out there.

LRE: Not exactly. And, you gotta stop reminding my blog readers that this therapy session is held with an IMAGINARY doctor.

DOC: Why? Maybe they think it’s funny, too.

LRE: Oh, so YOU think it’s funny that you’re imaginary?

DOC: Why, yes; yes, I do.

LRE: At least you’re comfortable with yourself—or lack thereof.

DOC: Wait, so back to the topic at hand. Is that it? Those are the only reasons you blog?

LRE: Well, I obviously DON’T do it to post pics of my cute kids online.

DOC: Your kids aren’t cute?

LRE: I don’t know. Are they?

DOC: You have kids?

LRE: I suppose that I blog also for myself. I like to write—even if it’s strange, slightly crazy things like Therapy Thursdays.

DOC: Well, here’s hoping that somebody thinks it’s funny.

LRE: Seriously.


Political Link of the Day: Redistribution of Wealth