Episode 11: I USED to think that an on-site cafeteria was the bomb-dot-com.

They played it off as ANOTHER one of the perks of working at my company: the onsite cafeteria. They prefer to call a grill since they don’t serve sloppy joes.

“Rad,” I thought.

Plus, they gave us a $5 gift certificate to buy our lunch the first day.


However, that feeling of radness eventually faded as lunches continued to taste bland. It left completely when I no longer went to breakfast on Thursday mornings for Banana Pancakes with Janet.

Wednesday of this week, I went to the grill formerly known as rad because I haven’t had time to go to the store and the thought of one more shake-as-a-meal lunch was depressing.

Ramirez and I wandered over there around noon and I ordered some sort of steak salad. (Look at me, being healthy and all.) The cook then whispered that he was out of steak. SPEAK UP MAN. After cleaning out my ears, I finally understood him and had him throw some chicken in instead. Fine; whatever, just give me some food; I’m hungry.

Ramirez ordered a chicken sandwich.

I went and paid for my food then stood around waiting for Ramirez to get his food so he could pay, too.

I stood around for a while. I could have finished eating my lunch by the time Ramirez gave up waiting. He walked over to me empty handed.

“Let’s go.”

What? You’re a MAN. How can you skip a meal? I was getting light headed at 10:30 a.m. because I hadn’t had a morning snack. How could you skip a meal?

I offered him some of my salad.

“That’s not manly.”

But it has CHICKEN in it. How is that not manly, but skipping a meal is? It makes me hungry just thinking about it.

So why did he leave without food? Because after standing around for 5 minutes, one of the cooks finally got around to asking him what he had ordered… he repeats, “chicken sandwich,” they ask him again a few minutes later: “whatever, forget about it.”

How hard is it to actually make a chicken sandwich when someone orders it?

I remember why the radness is all gone.