DOC: Oh good. You’re here.
LRE: Um, yeah. Glad you seem excited about that.
DOC: Yeah, I came prepared.
LRE: You come unprepared normally?
DOC: Uh… maybe. No. Yes. Whatever.
DOC: Let’s put it this way: I came EXTRA prepared today.
LRE: How so?
DOC: I looked up questions on Google.
LRE: Oh good. My therapist is really Google.
DOC: Ha. I mean. No, come on. They’re good questions and they just ADD to my already deep repertoire.
LRE: I bet. What are your googled questions?
DOC: Okay, let’s start with this one: Do you worry what you choose to eat will cause you to get cancer?
LRE: What? Are you kidding me?
DOC: Is this the face of somebody who’s kidding?
LRE: You don’t have a face; you’re imaginary.
DOC: Fine. Is this the IMAGINARY face of somebody who’s just pulling your leg?
LRE: What’s the next question?
DOC: You won’t answer?
LRE: No. It’s a stupid question. Try another.
DOC: What do you picture when you pray? Do you have a picture for God?
LRE: Therapy is now a religious discussion?
DOC: Why are you answering my questions with a question? I thought that was MY tactic.
LRE: Apparently, I’m the better therapist here.
DOC: Yeah, right. Who’s got the list of questions?
LRE: You do, big guy. What’s the next one?
DOC: Do you have a friend who is not really your friend?
LRE: Do you?
DOC: STOP THAT. Come on. Just answer the question.
LRE: I don’t like your questions. Or perhaps I should say, I don’t like GOOGLE’S questions. Try another.
DOC: This is my imaginary FRUSTRATED face.
LRE: It’s a good one.
DOC: Do you think your parents wanted you? Do you think they ever regretted you were born?
LRE: What kind of site did you get these from?
DOC: This one… “Questions My Therapist Should Ask Me.” It made it sound like I was going to turn you into an Einstein by asking “provoking” questions. Apparently, you’re better than Einstein because you think you’re TOO GOOD to answer my questions.
LRE: Pretty much. Let me see that website… hmm… most of these questions seem to be trying to provoke anger, doubt, fear. You should have picked a more upbeat site. Guess you did succeed… they are PROVOKING questions. Nice work, Doc.
DOC: That’s the last time I ask Google how to do my job.