I Was Just a 14-Year Old Trying to Apologize

Technically, this isn’t a journal entry. But, I think you’ll forgive me for cheating just a little bit. My eighth grade English teacher dropped off a “book” at my parents’ house a couple of years ago. The title of the book, The Past, Present, and Future. A collection of writings by Lauren Campbell ©1995. I wrote ©1995 on the cover. I really did. Anyway, I’ve enjoyed reading through it and while it’s obviously not the greatest writing, it’s not bad for a 14-year old. Here’s a poem from page 17 that you might enjoy. Also, the entire book is printed up with a table of contents and lots of clip art. I was such a computer geek even then.

“Belated Apology”

I terrified you
out of your skin
at midnight
a few years back.

I know
I embarrassed you
and now you won’t
be able to go
to the bathroom again
at night, alone.

Please absolve me.
I’m sorry.

You really
did scream
very loud
and looked
very chalky.

I’d do it again
if I were given
the opportunity.

Just Because

In this moment.
I have a feeling in my chest.

Overwhelming, but contained.
It’s like spring is blossoming inside of me.
Only I don’t know why.
There isn’t a particular reason.

But does there have to be?

Can’t a girl just be happy BECAUSE?

It makes me feel beautiful only nothing has changed on the outside.
I’ll take the overwhelming, contained inside.
I’ll take it any day.

Just because.