obama

Twittering the Doc

DOC: Come on in; sit down.

LRE: You have seats? I think I’ve stood at all of the past appointments.

DOC: You could have at least sat on the floor.

LRE: I had probably lain down for one of them.

DOC: Lain down?

LRE: Yeah; lay, lie, laid, lay, etc. It’s stupid grammar, isn’t it?

DOC: Whatever. You’re the English major.

LRE: So I’m only going to answer you in 140 characters or less.

DOC: Um, what?

LRE: I’m keeping it short today.

DOC: Why?

LRE: Because that’s the limit Twitter puts on all of my thoughts.

DOC: Twitter?

LRE: Yeah, it’s a few years old, but suddenly, stars and Obama have made it popular.

DOC: Obama?

LRE: He’s our twittering President.

DOC: Or is he the tweeting President?

LRE: Tweet, twit, lay, lie. Whatever.

DOC: So does this mean that you joined Twitter?

LRE: Yeah, pretty much. I don’t have very many followers, though.

DOC: So basically, you’re not popular in the Twitter world?

LRE: No, but my cat is.

DOC: Seriously?

LRE: Seriously. I started it as a joke and it turns out, there are TONS of twittering cats.

DOC: Wow; tweeting cats. Who’d a thunk?

LRE: Seriously. There’s even a blog about them… Cats Who Twitter.

DOC: And I thought the New York Times article about a cat lady twittering for her feline friends was a joke.

LRE: Hardly. And she even makes fun of dog twitterers.

DOC: But it’s okay for her to tweet on behalf of her many cats.

LRE: Right. And she’s just one of many. My cat now has 140 followers.

DOC: How many do you have?

LRE: Ten. Woo woo!

DOC: Well, if I was real, I’d follow you.

LRE: And not Pogi?

DOC: And Pogi, too. Because I’d want to make fun of you for owning a twittering cat.

LRE: He’s a funny cat. And so am I. Or at least, I think so.

DOC: Okay, let’s see what your tweets have been lately.

LRE: Sure, look them up, mister.

DOC: Here are two by you, ‘larriecampbell‘: “March is frozen food month and what better way to celebrate than a breakfast of eggos and otter pops… that’s totally tomorrow’s menu”

LRE: Yummy.

DOC: And… “Bought a regular Gatorade today instead of a G2… holy sugar batman, it’s like liquid blue frosting.”

LRE: I’ll never make that mistake again.

DOC: Okay, those weren’t so bad. Let’s have a look-see at this cat of yours… ‘PogiNotes’: “spent the night flicking the toy hanging from the door into the ceiling… BANG, BANG, BANG… take THAT upstairs neighbor”

LRE: Ha, what a good little kitty.

DOC: “LIVE IT UP ON FRIDAY cuz tomorrow’s bath day – same idea as eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow, you DIE”

LRE: Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty strange.

DOC: Pretty much.

LRE: Let’s just say, it’s my social networking experience in the twittering cat world.

DOC: Don’t get too carried away. You only have 140 characters to work with.

I Liked What Evan Bayh Had to Say

I keep on telling myself (and some of my friends) that I’m going to stop following national politics so much because it is DEPRESSING. And yet, apparently, I really WANT to put myself in a bad mood because I keep on reading about it. This morning, I briefly thought there was a little bit of hope when I heard about several democratic senators (who I think I will send short thank-you emails to later this evening) who are opposing the disgusting omnibus spending bill*.

How many of you even know about the $410 billion spending bill, which is an increase of 8% over last year?

Currently, the bill is blocked by critics, but some of the news reports I’ve read say it’s only temporarily blocked and will pass regardless. This means, government spending will include 8,500 earmarks. Obama campaigned on a platform of stamping out earmarks, but will he follow through and act on this promise? The explosion of earmarks began under a Republican control of Congress and the White House and with this bill, the Democratic Congress and House looks to continue this “great” tradition.

I was really worried that our government wouldn’t set aside some money for rodeo museums, honeybee factories and the Guam public library. There are about 100 other programs, too, looking for some funding boosts from this bloated bill.

Senator McCain more than just spoke out on this and offered a proposal to save $32 BILLION, wiping out $7.7 BILLION in earmarks. Sadly, even Republicans opposed McCain. When across the nation, we as a people are tightening our budgets in this recession, why is the government blatantly trying to increase spending? Voters repeatedly stated their belief that Obama was the best choice for our economy, over McCain. I may not have voted for either, but currently, Obama indicated “he would sign the earmark-ridden measure,” which McCain clearly opposes. Just a thought.

*Indiana Senator Evan Bayh (D) seems to be leading the protest and I agreed with what he said here: “No We Can’t.”

They’ve Set Up Little Picket Lines Around the North Pole

This week’s quote is more of a story. Here’s the background:

The “Elves” (Emma, 8; Abe, 5; and Claire, 5) were negotiating with “Santa” (James, 19), on Sunday via a legally responsible and easily documented letter. (Basically, they were writing messages on a legal pad and delivering it to Santa who would respond on the same yellow paper.) Here’s how the negotiations went down.

Elves: Crimas* is done and now tis back and we have to get rete** for Crimas. Santa you have to wake up now Santa cas now you will have to wake up rit now.

Santa: (He was writing with a red pencil) Dear Elves, You think I’ve been asleep but I have been watching you and you have been naughty. No presents for you this year!

Elves: YOU ARE STOPID.

Santa: Santa does not like being made fun of. Now you won’t get another present for the rest of your life.

Elves: YOU WE*** NOT GET ENE**** PRESENT CUS WE ARE TOYS MAKERS.

So bad news for all you kids out there. The elves are ON STRIKE. Christmas 2009 is looking doubtful unless Obama can step in and bailout Santa so he can hire new elves or Hillary can stop by and assist in peaceful negotiations. Phew, it’s good to know the government can save the world.

*How do YOU spell Christmas?

**Faster than just getting ready.

***We meaning WILL, obviously.

****Similar to ANY.

Comment NOW to Get a Chance to Write my Paper

DOC: Missed ya last week.

LRE: I know, right? Must be rough having to go so long without seeing Larrie.

DOC: Tell me about it.

LRE: I just did.

DOC: Well, how did the surgery go?

LRE: Great. Why don’t you just read my blog yourself and find out?

DOC: Because I don’t actually exist.

LRE: Good to know that you’re finally grasping this concept.

DOC: Yup; I’m an old dog and that’s a new trick.

LRE: Amazing.

DOC: So I was thinking that we could talk about how you’re handling the stress of the holidays.

LRE: Stress? Are you kidding me?

DOC: Um, no. I think I was pretty serious.

LRE: Okay, fine. Perhaps I should be more stressed and that would force me to really sit down and get my final paper written already. Instead of doing it the night before.

DOC: So you’ll never not procrastinate?

LRE: Maybe; watch out with your double negatives.

DOC: Double negatives?

LRE: Don’t worry about it. Just being an English nerd.

DOC: An English nerd who hasn’t written her paper yet.

LRE: Well, it’s just a little bit difficult getting excited over a paper on XML and technical writing. I’ve done some research, but getting to the next step and putting together a first draft just hasn’t happened yet.

DOC: Isn’t it a bit difficult to write a first draft the night before it’s due?

LRE: Perhaps. It just means that the first is very similar to the final draft.

DOC: Good luck getting that published.

LRE: Gee, thanks, mister.

Political Link Cartoon of the Day: “Shouldn’t Somebody Be Rowing?”

No Vacation for You!

People just wanted to take the Friday after Thanksgiving off. Don’t you think we all need time to sleep off all of that turkey? Sadly, shortly after seeing all of the initials of my coworkers on the calendar to take the day off, Freddy reminded us that “[the calendar] is not a play area” and erased all the vacation names in blue. Guess I’ll be at work on Friday. Fun.

Political Link of the Day: “Competing Alliteration” on Greg Mankiw’s blog

What the Obama administration is aiming for, it seems, is helpful, hopeful, and humongous.

Critics fear it might end up pointless, political, and pork-filled.

Smells Like Deer Jerky

I’m not going to explain the title of this blog. The gaggle of girls that understand it already are just that lucky to spend some quality time with me where I abused this phrase more than Joe the plumber was abused* this year.

I will say this, though: turns out, I’m rather SENSITIVE to smells.

Here’s what else I will say about this weekend. The chicken noodle soup at The Porcupine Grill is TO DIE FOR. Seriously. I would jump in front of a semi if it meant that I could eat this soup in heaven**.

And that leads me to wonder… what OTHER things would I be willing to commit semi-suicide for? Let’s make a list…

  • Men’s choruses
  • Tapioca pudding
  • One-hour, deep-tissue massages
  • Pay Days
  • Undisturbed sleep
  • A grand piano
  • CLASSY Christmas music (like MoTab and Handel’s Messiah)
  • Lots and lots of books
  • And last… to be in shape and an awesome-possum soccer player.

I know it’s a short list… for now. What did I forget?

There was a tie for today’s Political Link of the Day between this Letter to the New York Times about Obama and FDR and Dave Barry’s astute election coverage (we’re all doomed regardless). Oh happy day.

*abused meaning flaunted, publicized, terrorized and celebrityized

**Yes, I am making assumptions here concerning my eternal salvation.

Imagine That — Larrie’s Reflection Theme for the Week

LRE: Sorry I’m late, doc.

DOC: I had a nice long nap so I don’t mind.

LRE: Jealous.

DOC: How come you were late?

LRE: Working. Imagine that.

DOC: I wondered if you really did that.

LRE: Well, yaknow. If you want to keep your job, you’re expected to work.

DOC: Imagine that.

LRE: Is that the theme for this session? “Imagine that”?

DOC: Could be.

LRE: It reminds me of Reflections.

DOC: Reflections?

LRE: Yeah; the PTA program where we entered art according to each year’s theme.

DOC: Oh I see.

LRE: My sister won one year and I won the first prize one year for a picture that I took of my cousin and Maren. My attempts at poetry only got honorable mentions.

DOC: Didn’t every entry get honorable mentions?

LRE: Most likely. At least in elementary school.

DOC: Imagine that.

LRE: Yes, imagine that. Hmm… if my memory serves me…

DOC: Despite all of your past drug use.

LRE: Despite that, yes… I believe once the theme was “Imagine if.”

DOC: Well imagine if McCain had won.

LRE: Why?

DOC: Wouldn’t you be happy?

LRE: We’d just get the same complaints about the electoral college and disrespect for the office of the President that people have given to Bush.

DOC: So why don’t you want to imagine McCain winning?

LRE: There’s no point. Instead, Obama won and I can offer deference to his position as the American President because I have respect for that and I think that I have class.

DOC: Imagine THAT.

Political Link of the Day: ‘Un-American’ Caller on Glenn Beck

High Contrast – Who Knew

“Pressing the left SHIFT, left ALT, and PRINT SCREEN keys turns on High Contrast. High contrast improves readability for people with visual impairments by applying a special system color scheme and font size.

To keep High Contrast on, click OK.

To cancel High Contrast, click Cancel.

To deactivate the combination for High Contrast, click Settings.”

How’s that for a lesser known Windows keystroke trick? Bethy the third found it through random keystroke typing… or something.

Political Link of the Day: Orrin Hatch said, “Obama has said that he’s going to appoint people who are more concerned about the poor and those who don’t have a lot of wealth. Well, that’s not what the Supreme Court should be doing. It should be concerned about the poor, the wealthy, everybody. It should be concerned about obeying the law and enforcing the laws of the Constitution.“

Episode 24: Happy Halloween! Bring on the Chocolate

MZ left her computer unlocked yesterday and it didn’t take long before an email was sent out with her name in the “From”:

Subject: I need chocolate

I’m having a rough day around here, kids… please bring me chocolate and I will heart you forever.

-mz

See what happens when you leave your computer unattended where I work?

Apparently, the chocolate gods smile on this behavior. So can somebody please tell me why I continue to lock my computer so that nobody has access to sending emails out “from me”? If I started leaving it open to the world, perhaps I would get some chocolate, too.

The last time I left my computer in such a vulnerable state, I was working in a different department. The chocolate gods didn’t care about the goings-on in that department… at least not enough to bestow gifts of their cocoa goodness on us. Instead, an email was sent out inviting people to a barbecue at my place.

I did get a response from a coworker saying they were so bummed they’d be out of town and couldn’t make it.

It’s okay, friend. Just bring me some chocolate as part of your RSVP.

P.S. I won again today! We had a drawing in our on-site gym to celebrate Halloween and I won one of the gift cards. Guess where I get to go spend free money? BARNES & NOBLE! HIP HIP POORAY!

Political Link(s) of the Day: “Obama alone is willing to discuss the economy,” and “McCain’s plan to lower taxes is America’s express lane back to prosperity.” (Two economists present two opposing opinions about who would be better for the economy; which article is more convincing? Notice I asked which article, not which candidate…)

Episode 24: Good-bye Chocolate

Of course we think that OUR jokes are funny in IT.

We choose NOT to ask the general public whether or not they agree.

But, I am brave; I am going to post right here, on the public, world WIDE web, one of our jokes.

Yesterday, Freddy left his computer unlocked and went to his meeting.

OOPS.

Before long, MZ found his PC in such a vulnerable state and quickly clicked on his Outlook. It took seconds before the entire group received an email… from Freddie:

Subject: Come say godd [sic] bye

I decided to quit! Sick of working with you, people! Good bye chocolate at my desk…

Coworkers came running. Either to apologize and beg Freddy not to leave. Or because they wanted chocolate before it was all gone.

They found NO chocolate and NO Freddy. And even MZ had already snuck back to her desk undetected (except by me) and muffling her giggles.

With Freddy in a meeting and no chocolate at his desk, coworkers quickly worked to remedy the situation. Before long, the following items were strewn across his keyboard:

  1. A nearly empty package of double-stuff Oreos
  2. Six tootsie rolls (the really little ones)
  3. One dark-chocolate Hershey’s bar, broken in several places
  4. A dark chocolate candy bar from some foreign country
  5. Two Hershey’s Nuggets Truffles
  6. And one tin of milk chocolate Slim-Fast powdered drink mix.

Upon Freddy’s return, he wondered aloud: “Is it Halloween already?”

Bethy the Third then asked him if perhaps he was depressed (being the reason that he had decided to quit) and Freddy quickly replied, “I’ve never been depressed so if I was, I wouldn’t know.”

With that statement, the as-depressed-as-the-average-working-adult coworkers ran to Freddy’s desk and took all of the chocolate to consume for themselves and try to lift their own dreary spirits.

Good thing Freddy doesn’t like chocolate.

Political Link of the Day (I laughed): “…Imagine the Democratic nominee’s day as Barack Palin Obama”