The Quirks of LRE

Hooray it’s Thursday, which means you’re getting ever closer to the fabulous weekend, but it also means it’s time for everyone’s favorite weekly blog: Therapy Thursdays. The stage is set with a nice chaise lounge chair under a big window with a brilliantly yellow and orange sweetgum tree just outside. Sounds idyllic? In walks the DOC with, for some strange reason, a large (and rather old school) head mirror atop his forehead. LRE (that’s ME! Larrie) follows him in, kicks off her sandals and stretches out on the chaise with her hands behind her head. Our scene begins…

DOC: Well, you look comfortable.

LRE: Yeah, it’s nice to stretch out. Hey… why do you have that big circle thing on your head?

DOC: Don’t worry about it. (DOC removes his odd headgear.)

LRE: Okay, now I can talk to you normal.

DOC: You’re normal?

LRE: Ha, sure; let’s pretend.

DOC: Right, cuz I read on your friend, Lindsey’s blog that you’re “always quirky! HA!”

LRE: And be grateful for that, too, because I offer a good laugh by my quirkiness.

DOC: So how would you define your quirkiness?

LRE: In six ways.

DOC: Really? So you’ve thought about this already?

LRE: Not exactly; but according to the tag, that’s what I’m supposed to do – come up with six personal quirks.

DOC: Well, that should be easy.

LRE: Not really; they’re all pretty much already on my lists of 100 I’ve made previously.

DOC: Okay then, missy… be creative and come up with something new.

LRE: Right-o…here we go with numero uno.

DOC: Oh there you go… you throw in random Spanish phrases.

LRE: Yeah, yeah, that’s a good one, thanks DOC. It’s true, too. I don’t really SPEAK Spanish, but I certainly attempted to learn it enough to get some decent grades in my Spanish classes at the mighty BYU. And now, I throw in random phrases every now and then. I say ‘bueno’ a lot, along with ‘se me fue’ and sometimes add ‘la onda’ to the phrase. I also use ‘pobrecito’ when people complain about aches and pains to me and they may use it back at me. There are certainly others, but that’s a good list.

DOC: That’s good. Quirk number one defined.

LRE: Okay, so on to number two: I’ve had six dislocations so far.

DOC: Really? Wow, try this. (DOC tries to push all his right-hand fingers back with his left hand.)

LRE: That’s what doctors always ask me to do when I say that, but my fingers don’t go anywhere. My chiropractor thinks I have bad tendons and gave me some natural supplements to help.

DOC: Ah, yes, the witch doctor.

LRE: Yes, I like him, thank you very much.

DOC: Okay, so that was quirk number two. Bring on three.

LRE: Um… (staring out the window at the pretty fall foliage)… I own two cats.

DOC: Shoot, girl; that should have been number ONE.

LRE: I know, seriously. BUT, I’ll have you know, that these are EXOCTIC cats bred from the WILD asian leopard cats so I could have my own little leopards that like to play fetch.

DOC: They play fetch?

LRE: Just one; but that’s the cat’s quirk, not mine.

DOC: Okay so that’s number three. Along those same lines, you probably have some quirky behavior because of those two cats… excuse me, those two EXOCTIC cats.

LRE: It’s possible. Last night, I stopped by the store on the way home from soccer to pick up some cream cheese and they had kitty litter on sale. It was TWO BUCKS OFF! So, I, of course stocked up on three 30-lb bags.

DOC: Yeah, that’s a GOOD quirk. And what time were you stocking up on kitty toiletries?

LRE: Around 11:00 p.m. BUT, I’ll have you know, that I probably looked a lot like the crazy cat lady as I carried ALL THREE bags, at the SAME time, in from the car, up the stairs inside my condo and to the back laundry room without dropping them OR hurting my back.

DOC: Ha! Must have been a sight. Thanks for sharing with the internet.

LRE: Sure thing.

DOC: Okay, that was a good number four quirk. Five?

LRE: Right, well, how about the fact that people call me Larrie? I think that’s a bit unusually for such a gorgeous babe such as myself.

DOC: A bit, yes.

LRE: Blame my brothers… and the Christmas Elf that I made up for James back in the day that delivered Christmas treats to a flannel stocking I had made and hung from his dresser. The Elf’s name was Larry. Somehow, Jarv determined that the “feminine” spelling of that would be Larrie and wrote all his letters home from Hungarian to me addressed as such. Freshman year at the BY, my roommates helped me determine that the I. E. stood for innocent energy (which was a secret connection back to a letter I had received from a boy). Wow, yeah; there’s definitely a bit of quirkiness in the “history” of that nickname.

DOC: Nice work; you’ve got five quirks down, one to go. Make it a good one.

LRE: I wake up with a different and very random song in my head every morning.

DOC: How random?

LRE: The other morning, it was the hymn “Did You Think to Pray?” Then this morning, if I remember correctly, it was “Down” by 311.

DOC: Definitely two very different types.

LRE: Yeah, I would almost say, “anything, but country,” but that’s not true.

DOC: What? You mean… you listen to country music now?

LRE: No, no, no, no. Silly DOC. It’s because one of my BYU roommates, Ms. Hi-zatch, used to sing the same song in the mornings… I only really remembered one line: (LRE starts singing be-autifully) “good morning beautiful, how was your night?”

DOC: Oh, right; that’s from “Good Morning Beautiful” by Steve Holy.

LRE: Did you google that?

DOC: Why yes, I did.

LRE: Nice work. While you’re busy googling over there (apparently, the DOC now has a laptop on his lap and is busily typing away), google how to win a FREE HAND BAG, too!