Happy Knee!

Enter the caption contest now! It’s so exciting isn’t it? If you need the rules for this supposed-to-be-weekly contest, click here: Caption Contest Rules Shmules.

Last Contest’s Winner: It’s NOT Braden because he called my nephew a girl. Boo. Winner is Janet with her Back to the Future comment, great! What does she get for winning? To meet me for lunch tomorrow, what a lucky duck.

He’s Got Gorgeous Hair!

Enter the caption contest now! It’s so exciting isn’t it? If you need the rules for this supposed-to-be-weekly contest, click here: Caption Contest Rules Shmules.

Last Contest’s Winner: Tie. How lame is that? Seriously. But, we had a caption about heaven and a caption referencing God in Genesis. Who knew driving home from Park City would be such a spiritual experience in the eyes of Braden and Janet? And I like their eyes… their points of view crack me up. So basically, if one of them posts a caption, they tend to win. Does that suck for the rest of you?

Why Eat Your Cheesecake from the Pointy End First?

Enter the caption contest now! It’s so exciting isn’t it? If you need the rules for this supposed-to-be-weekly contest, click here: Caption Contest Rules Shmules.

Last Contest’s Winner: High five, Janet! Loved the fact that you smack-talked Snape in your comment. And to blog nod Janet: all my life (I’m sure of it), I’ve wanted to be like her so I finally made my move to become a BA at work, only to find out that she added an I to her job title. What’s a Business INTELLIGENCE Analyst? That sounds smart…

This Season, It’s All About High Hair

Enter the caption contest now! It’s so exciting isn’t it? If you need the rules for this supposed-to-be-weekly contest, click here: Caption Contest Rules Shmules.

Last Contest’s Winner: Hip hip pooray for Janet. I still type that phrase because of her: “hip hip pooray.” She was by far the most entertaining coworker ever in the IM world. Also entertaining in real life, but she had a gift for the witty written remarks. Way to win former Diet Coke buddy.

Episode 56: How to Survive Lunch With Your Coworkers

Every day at work, I think about how I really ought to bring in a lunch to save money and to eat food that I actually like (because I really don’t like the food they make at our grill here onsite).

And then I go home from work that day.

And guess what I do?

I don’t put anything together for a lunch the next day.

Sometimes I briefly think, oh, I’ll just get something together in the morning before work.

COME ON, LARRIE. You NEVER give yourself more than 10 minutes to get ready.

Like you’ll get up early enough to make lunch, too.

It never happens.

Today, I brought my lunch to work because I had leftovers from the AMAZING dinner I had at Porcupine Grill with Maren last night. Their Chicken Noodle Soup = HEAVEN (or at LEAST terrestrial glory).

I ate lunch at my desk today, but there are many days when I’d prefer the break and to talk about things not related to work. Because of that, I’ve come up with a list to help you, internet, with how to eat lunch with your coworkers.

  1. Round Up Coworkers. The first step, of course, is to have people you can actually go with. This may actually be hard for some of you because you either are not the type of person that others particularly want to eat lunch with* or you sit at your desk mumbling and grumbling about how people don’t ask you to go to lunch with them. Guess what? You can ask THEM. (Gasp.) So get out of your seat, walk down your row and ask somebody (probably somebody that you like) if they’d like to go to lunch. Round up multiple people if you’d like. Now, go to lunch.
  2. Avoid Hot Topics. The store and the conversations. They don’t have lunch options at the store. It’s probably better in mixed company to avoid deep discussions on politics, religion, or relationships at lunch. You never know who you might offend if you start talking about your major crush on some certain cute boy and the other person would rather talk about her crush on a girl. Just a thought.
  3. Don’t Bring Egg Salad. Well, to be honest, I LOVE egg salad. And I don’t usually smell it when people eat that at the table. What you REALLY shouldn’t bring is FISH. And DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVEN IF IT WOULD SOMEHOW SAVE THE WORLD FROM NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, HEAT IT UP IN THE MICROWAVE. You deserve severe punishment in the life after this if you do that. SEVERE.
  4. Remember Your Manners. It really shouldn’t be that hard, but some people maybe just never learned that looking like cookie monster while you consume your food is NOT appropriate. There were TWO reasons why you could see all of cookie monster’s food while he ate it. One: he had no lips. Two: he’s a puppet. This means he had no throat for the food to go down. Chew with your lips closed and don’t talk with your mouth full. Do I sound like your mother yet?
  5. Don’t Belch. Do I really need to expound on this? I can’t believe I even had to type this, but I do. And I bet Janet can think of who I work with that does this repeatedly throughout the day. Yes, he is a grown man.
  6. Be Interesting. Don’t talk about work. It’s a break. Share interesting stories instead. If you don’t have a good story to share, then ask other people questions. There are some really interesting people sitting around you that do lots of things outside of the office. Do you know what they are?**

Great work people. Now go forth and eat with your cube mates.

*Perhaps you are incredibly left- or right-winged and refuse to let people share their own opinions, but you want everyone to hear about yours every lunch. Perhaps you are self-centered and eventually people want to go to lunch with somebody who is interested in how their weekend went, not just every intricate detail of yours. Or perhaps you’re a dud who just sits there and doesn’t participate. A good lunch group is a give-give relationship. You give me your Hi-C, I’ll give you my Capri Sun. Yum.

**You might NOT want to ask, though, if the outside hobbies they have are things like playing Magic or having all-night Dungeons and Dragons parties. Remember this pointer used the word, “interesting”? That’s a KEY component, people.

Episode 55: Birthdays and Work

I’ve heard a rumor around these halls at work that the time clock wishes you happy birthday. What a nice time clock.

I have NO IDEA if it’s true, though.

I don’t work on my birthday.

The very first year I celebrated my birthday while employed here, October 14th fell on a Friday. Several things happened that day: I took the day off, Daniel Craig was announced as the sixth official James Bond actor and I slept in. Later that day, I met up with Janet to make a trip down to Las Vegas because who doesn’t want to spend their birthday weekend on their feet all day moving from one store to the next, purchasing makeup you hardly use from Sephora and clothes you still wear from Urban Outfitters? Good birthday.

The next year, my birthday was on a Saturday. For some reason, though, I don’t really remember what happened that year. I probably didn’t sleep in because I had a soccer game. But again, I did not work. Oh and also, Chelsea FC’s goalkeepers both suffered serious injuries that day against Reading FC—Cech fractured his skull and Cudicini had a concussion. Defender John Terry had to finish the game as keeper.

Moving on now to 2007: My birthday fell on a Sunday. I slept in! Church didn’t start until 1:00pm. I believe at the time, I probably sat in really uncomfortable pews so I was utilizing a blow-up “back pillO.” Yep. Getting older is superb.

Bring on 2008. I planned a last minute trip with James and Maren to visit Peter and Genny! So I woke up (probably late enough to consider it sleeping in) in Portland, Oregon after spending time in Seattle and hitting up Cannon Beach the previous days. Pete had to work so the rest of us made our way to Multnomah Falls where we raced a train took a lot of pictures and hiked all the way to the top. Mighty cool birthday.

And now we’ve arrived at this year. My birthday fell on a Wednesday. Right in the middle of the week. Kind of awkward. So I just took the one day off. I woke up at 7:30 am, read a text on my phone and then remembered, I could sleep in. So I dropped my head back down on that pillow and went right back to sleeping. Once I finally did get up, I ate breakfast, did laundry, returned texts and went to the gym. Then it was back home to make soup, burn my tongue eating it, finish laundry, clean up and go over to Tracy’s to see the demolition of their kitchen and have my four-year old niece perform several happy birthday dances for me.

Jane’s happy birthday dances were incredible.

Eventually, Jane and Abe came with me to play at my house for a bit, drew all over dozens of post-it notes and stuck them on my fridge.

Dinner was at my parents’ with my siblings. Besides the great gifts, they all went around the circle and told me nice things about myself. We may tease my dad for being cheesy in his “old age,” but I sure do appreciate this new cheesy tradition we do.

After all the eating, gift opening, complimenting Larrie, and sweeping up peanut shells that were all over the kitchen floor, I went over to Kasey’s for delicious cake and celebrations with my friends.

See how great my birthday was? No working! (I briefly checked email around 3:00pm and sent one response because I was worried about anything going wrong on a project when I’m gone for ONE day.) It felt like a holiday. Larrie Day.

Birthdays at work don’t feel like holidays.

Episode 50: Fridays Used to be Capri Fridays

I kept on finding great excuses to buy new shoes: I’d started a new job; that job required closed-toe shoes; I probably needed these shoes in many different styles and colors; and then we decided to have Capri Fridays! It was Janet’s idea and, of course, I went along with it. This also meant that I now needed cute, casual sneakers to wear each week. The collection slowly started to grow: a fluorescent green pair of Diesel sneakers, a black pair of Pumas, brown, rugged J-41s.

I loved Capri Fridays and needed to share that love with others I worked with so on Thursdays, I would go around telling women (because I don’t live in Europe so no men were included, sorry) to wear their capris the next day.

I told Cindy and she just stared at me, thinking, “Why would I take style advice from you? You have fluorescent green shoes.”

I told Tammi. She laughed and replied, “I’m too white to show any part of my legs at work.”

“That doesn’t stop me,” I retorted, but my argument was futile.

I told Mzia and she said, “Okay!”

And then one day Janet left the company. It ruined Capri Fridays. Nobody around here even remembers that we once had them.

Probably because they really only existed in my world, with Janet playing along and once, several years ago, Mzia also wore her capris on a Friday.

Kind of like how nobody takes a Diet Coke Break now or excuses themselves to use the middle stall.

So instead, I tried to instigate High Five Fridays!

Do you think it stuck?