The Athlete in Me

World Cup Begins; Americans at Work

World Cup started today. If you didn’t know, I’m disappointed in you.

I really need a new phone.

Know why?

Because my current phone isn’t “smart” at all. I can’t get on the internet, I don’t have apps installed, I can’t watch the games from my phone.

I can’t watch them online, either. At least not while I’m working. Sports and streaming media are blocked at work. This is a good thing, really, because if I could access it all, I’d end up having zero productivity during certain games and would, therefore, have to make up that time. So my way of coping instead: recording the games and watching them after work.

So if I don’t want to play with you in the evenings for the next month, don’t take it personally.

And if I’m a little distracted at work, I’m sad that this nation hasn’t figured out that it would be okay to give everyone a vacation for a month once every four years. Or can’t we at least give that kind of vacation to the soccer lovers? Wishful thinking, I know.

Who are you cheering for to win the entire thing? And who do you want to win tomorrow’s game, England versus USA?

Happy Knee!

Enter the caption contest now! It’s so exciting isn’t it? If you need the rules for this supposed-to-be-weekly contest, click here: Caption Contest Rules Shmules.

Last Contest’s Winner: It’s NOT Braden because he called my nephew a girl. Boo. Winner is Janet with her Back to the Future comment, great! What does she get for winning? To meet me for lunch tomorrow, what a lucky duck.

The Gainer that Never Was

I tried.

I really did.

I tried as best as I could, but you know how there is that phrase about teaching an old dog new tricks?

First, let’s clarify: I don’t consider myself an old dog.

I just think that perhaps I would have been a bit more fearless when I was younger.

But I tried really hard to learn a new trick on Saturday.

I tried to learn how to do a gainer.

It all started at the second annual Campbell-DeLaMare swimming party at the DeLaMare mansion. They wouldn’t call it a mansion. They just call it home, but I never had my own bathroom connected to my bedroom and a walk-in closet growing up. I never had a swimming pool in the backyard with a diving board and slide. I never had an upstairs and downstairs kitchen. I never had an indoor swimming pool either. I did, however, have a pool table and a ping pong table.*

We became friends with the DeLaMares when they moved in to the average-size house next door over a decade ago. Before long, Maren and I were babysitting their youngest kids, Mom was scheduling her daily walks with their mom, Lisa, and we built a new fence with a door in it so we could easily walk from one backyard to the other. It was neighborhood bliss. And then the DeLaMares decided to upgrade. They moved to a bigger home and left our little neighborhood behind. But don’t worry; we stayed friends.

Isn’t it great that even though they live in their fancy new home they still want to see the Campbells? And they want to see ALL of us? GOOD friends.

This last Saturday afternoon was the swimming party.

Maren, Thane, Laina, Hobbes and I drove up together. Before long, we were all outside swimming and the diving board was just asking for my brothers to fling themselves off of it. I hesitated.

But they made it look so easy to do a gainer: Jarv, Mick and Thane.

“You just arch your back,” Thane instructed me.

Mick said something about jumping higher.

Jarv said something about tucking.

I tried the first time and landed on my head. Not too bad. I was more than halfway around.

I tried again. Back flop. Lost my courage.

Try again.

Went in shins first.

Try again.

Head first.

Try again, jump higher.

Back flop.

I’m done.

So much for learning how to do a gainer.

Guess the remainder of the lessons will have to wait for the Campbell-DeLaMare swimming party next year. I’ll let you know how that goes.

*You’d think because of this I would be a decent pool player or have some amount of ping pong skills. Your thoughts would be wrong, though. I can, however, play both sports better than I can bowl.

I’m Healed… Kind Of

It’s been six weeks.

That’s a long time to baby an ankle.

Let me give you some really good advice: do NOT sprain your ankle.

I’m not talking about just rolling it, or twisting it so it hurts a little. I’m talking about the type of sprain where you can’t even put weight on it for hours, where it swells up like a golf ball instantly and where the bruising drains into your toes and runs up your shin, where you can’t balance on it even with a brace AND shoe on, and where you cut your other leg shaving because you foolishly tried to balance on the bad leg in the shower. Don’t do that.

It’s frustrating that after six LONG weeks (they’re never short weeks when you can’t do what you love), my ankle still hurts. It’s also still swollen. But it’s been SIX weeks and do you know what that means?

I can play soccer again.

The doctor said so.

So I will wrap it, put on a brace and go running tonight because if I’m REALLY out of shape (instead of just sort of), I will be worthless in my game this Saturday morning.

Aren’t you excited for me?

I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much so, I just used THIRTEEN exclamation points. That’s a lot for a girl that hardly uses any because excessive exclamation points are the bane of my existence (as are LOLs).*

*Did you know that there’s a Greasemonkey script that dumps extra exclamation points that might appear on websites? Yeah, I know, it’s totally nerdy that I know that, but also grammatically COOL that I do.

40 Days to a New You Spreadsheet

Okay, so being the geek that I am, I made myself a nifty little spreadsheet for my 40-day challenge. I plan on starting next Monday, giving myself enough time to get all of my little plans together. If you want to play along, and want me to send you my spreadsheet as a template, hit me up with a comment. (In my email from wordpress, it will tell me your email address and I’ll send it your way.) Here’s some screenshots of the nerdily awesome spreadsheet.


40 Days to a New You

We talked about the significance of the number 40 throughout the Bible yesterday in Sunday School: Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days, the Israelites wandered for 40 years, it rained for 40 days and nights, etc.*

All of these 40-something time periods, whether days are years, were periods of testing that ended in periods of restoration, revival and renewal. Aren’t those great words? Restoration. Revival. Renewal.

Today, I am setting my own goals for some much needed self-improvement because for about the last month, I’ve felt excessively disorganized. I think it’s important to have a set time-period for goals like this, so that’s why I’m going with the biblical 40 days. And to make sure we’re on this same page, this has NOTHING to do with Josh Hartnett’s movie about celibacy. He is not my inspiration. Just wanted to clear that up.**

I did a quick search on the internet for “40 days” and turns out, there were a lot of links for similar campaigns. I didn’t read any of them, though and picked my own little categories for improvement.

Organization. On this one, I will be enlisting a little time with my fabulous Auntie N again to help with finishing this (she’s already helped immensely with my closet, the hall closet and under-the-bed storage). Of course, she can’t help organize my cluttered head so we won’t even attempt to tackle that one.

Health. This is an on-going goal, but I’m going to put together a specific program based on a nifty little book I checked out from the library: The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Seriously.

Spiritual. I always need to improve on the little things like daily prayer and scripture study, plus a little more temple attendance. Do I have a radiant glow yet? This should be different than my lack of tan.

Sleep. Yes, this could be related to health, but I’m separating it because I always struggle with it. I remember, in college, going in to meet with Louise to help me get off of academic probation. She looked at my goals (which included new bedtime hours and times to wake up) and said, “Come on, seriously?” We readjusted those goals so I wasn’t trying to conquer the world by running straight up the mountain and guess what happened? You’re darn right… I graduated from college.

Work. Sometimes, I just go to work because I need to pay the bills, but I think it’s time I set some goals to make sure that I continue to improve at my job. If I write it down, I might actually do it, too, instead of just twittering about some attempt to learn C# over Memorial Day weekend (yeah, totally didn’t do that AT ALL).

Diet. No. I will not diet. I don’t have the will power. But, I will start bringing my lunch to work. Mmmm, PB&J for 40 days! Delish.

Thanks. I haven’t sent out a thank you card for a while. People do a lot to help me out (especially with the current sickness of my car) and I owe them lots of thanks. As a bonus, gratitude is a mightily positive emotion and who doesn’t want more of that to balance out the negatives? Also, I’ve read that writing in a gratitude journal can have a positive effect. I really need another journal.

So here I go, starting my 40-day transformation. I haven’t come up with a clever name for it, though. 40 Days to a New Larrie? Revive Me in 40? Larrie 2.0 in 40 Days?

*All of the instances (I could find) of 40 in the Bible:
1. Rained for 40 days and 40 nights (Gen 7:12).
2. Noah waited 40 days after it rained before he opened a window in the ark (Gen 8:6).
3. Embalming required 40 days (Gen 50:3).
4. Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days (2x: Exo 24:18, Exo 34:28-29).
5. Spies searched for 40 days to find promised land (Num 13:25).
6. Israelites wandered for 40 years (Exo 16:35, Num 14:33-34).
7. Forty stripes given to wicked men (Deut 25:3).
8. Israel in Philistine bondage for 40 years (Judges 13:1).
9. Goliath came for 40 days before David killed him (1 Sam 17:16).
10. David reigned forty years (2 Sam 5:4).
11. Solomon reigned forty years (11:42).
12. Elijah went to Horeb for 40 days/nights (1 Kings 19:8).
13. Egypt was uninhabited for forty years (Ezek 29:11-13).
14. Jonah warned the City of Ninevah they had 40 days to repent (Jonah 3:4).
15. Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness (Matt 4:1-2).
16. Jesus was on the earth 40 days after his crucifixion (Acts 1:3).
17. Paul received forty stripes five times for Christ (2 Corinth 11:24).

**Also, I know that in a way, I’m just copying the idea of Lent. I’m totally okay with that.

Boo to Daylight Savings

DOC: Hey there sleepy.

LRE: Really? I look THAT tired.

DOC: Basically.

LRE: Daylight savings is killing me.

DOC: Not a fan, huh?

LRE: Not at all. I haven’t been able to get to bed at a decent hour since the switch.

DOC: How hard are you trying?

LRE: I know… it really is my own fault. But last night I was all wound up after playing basketball.

DOC: You play basketball? I thought that ended ten years ago.

LRE: You thought wrong, Doc.

DOC: Clearly. Did you go back to high school?

LRE: No. But I am wearing my basketball shoes from high school.

DOC: Aren’t those like ten years old?

LRE: Don’t tell my podiatrist.

DOC: I was just about to send him a text. Guess not.

LRE: None of that.

DOC: So how are you playing basketball again?

LRE: My ward has a few teams.

DOC: A few?

LRE: Two men’s, one women’s.

DOC: Guess the women’s team loses all the time then.

LRE: No; we have the best record of the three, but we don’t play against the boys. We play other ward’s women’s teams.

DOC: Oh.

LRE: We lost last night, though, when a girl on the other team threw up a prayer with two seconds left. She scored and she was just over the halfcourt line.

DOC: Two seconds left?

LRE: Yeah, it sucked. And we had made a last second comeback to lead by one point with eight seconds left.

DOC: Guess you should have taken longer to score that last basket.

LRE: Perhaps.

DOC: Did you score?

LRE: Of course. They were all layups… in traffic. I should learn to shoot jumpers, too.

DOC: Yeah, you should.

LRE: You should be proud of me for returning to sports with my new titanium toe.

DOC: Oh right. I’m REALLY proud of you.

No Foot Modeling in My Future

“Yeah, Lauren… we’re just going to have to keep you in socks.” ~Conder

Apparently, my feet aren’t particularly attractive. Stay tuned for a post-surgery foot pic tomorrow. It’s HOT!

Political Link of the Day: “Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald goes after his second Illinois governor

Man, I’m glad I don’t live in Illinois:

He’s already successfully prosecuted another Illinois governor, George H. Ryan