I’m a mom. I have a son. There are things that I want to teach him: 19 things.
Okay, so I wrote this really long blog article about the things that Dom has learned and the things he’s learning and the things that I want him to learn because he’s a BOY. But I was only a third of the way through my list and it was already getting lengthy. So I started over. Instead of a long blog post that most won’t read through, here is a list. I like lists. Lists are good. Lists are easier to read.
These are the things that Dom has learned, is learning, and will learn (hopefully), so he can grow up to be an upstanding man, husband, father, son, etc.
- Tell me his feelings. The hardest part about this is teaching him the words for his emotions, but he’s learning and definitely tells me when he’s FRUSTRATED.
- I will be his cheerleader. I was never one in high school, but I will be one for him, thanking him for things like being my big helper with the dishes and not worrying about all of the water on the kitchen floor.
- He got out of bed at 4:00 am to read a book and I had to remind myself that at least he likes to read.
- I cannot dance, but I want him to feel confident about moving his body to the music.
- Have strong male role models. Be like his dad, his uncles, his grandpas, and I will teach him about other good male role models.
- Know that women are strong and beautiful because of their minds. I want him to learn this.
- His mom is strong and beautiful because of my mind. I hope he thinks I’m a smart mom.
- Have good manners. He does this so well he often reminds us: “say, ‘YOU’RE WELCOME’!”
- Remember his prayers. One day, I hope he’ll feel like he can pray by himself not just because we ask him to at bedtime or before eating a meal.
- Get dirty. Be a kid, be a boy, play in the dirt, climb trees, jump off fences (but hopefully not roofs), and get messy.
- Play sports. Throw a football, dribble a basketball, kick a soccer ball, skate on the ice, swim laps, leap off of a diving board, and just try it all, in spite of whether he’s naturally athletic or not.
- I keep trying to draw with him and I often get, “I can’t”, or “I’m too small”, but hopefully one day he’ll think, “I can”.
- Get outside. Utah is beautiful so let’s hike, camp, splash in the streams, ride our bikes, and just be outside in nature.
- Help others. I don’t want to force him to help so I want to learn how to present it as an opportunity for him to help others.
- He practiced a song with me over and over until he could spell his name so I hope he’ll learn that repetition will pay off.
- Ask why. Obviously he can do this just fine (over and over and over) so it’s my job to keep answering, keep giving honest answers, and keep encouraging his desire to learn.
- Build forts. Because blanket forts!
- Be loving. He still loves to give kisses and big hugs.
- I will always love him. No matter what happens, no matter his choices, no matter his struggles, no matter how far away he goes, no matter how far away he feels, I will always be his mother and he’ll never have a relationship with anyone else that will be the same as what we have.
What would you put on a list of something for a mom to teach her son?
things i’m still hoping to impart to mine: gratitude for whatever comes his way…the hard and the awesome. to act and not react, whether in the thoughts we have when someone does/says something, or the words/deeds we do. to not let others behaviors/choices/words determine how he will be or what he will say/do. (i’m still working on this one too). to be kind, always. to walk all his days with faith in christ and trust god to lead him where he needs to go and to learn what he needs to learn. and to seize the day.
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So many important things here, Larrie. As my boys have grown a bit older I would add:
-It’s ok to feel emotions. And guess what? It’s also ok if other people see those emotions.
-You can come and talk to me about anything. I will try to listen first without reacting like a crazy person.
-Have a sense of humor! About life, about yourself, about hard things…
-You are talented and have great worth.
-You have saved me.
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-Also, I don’t give a d*mn if you earn merit badges. Just learn some things.
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This is a good list. You are a good mom.
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