Introspectively Larrie

How introspective are you?

Think about it.

Look. There. You’re being introspective. How fun.

So when I’m introspectively berating myself (for stupid things like falling down the stairs), I always refer to myself as “Larrie.” (Pronounced like Larry for any of you who might try to get it wrong):

Larrie, why did you fall down the stairs, you turd?

Larrie, you just gave yourself a paper cut with an entire stack of post-it notes, boo.

Larrie, you didn’t put that laundry away and now your shirt is all wrinkled. Sheesh.

Did you know that they did a study on how people refer to themselves? They wanted to know if it influences how they think, feel, and behave under social stress. It’s true. Citation to the study here: “Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters.”

Using Larrie instead of me/I, according to this study, means that: I am less stressed about public speaking and first impressions; I don’t beat myself up after one of these events as much; and future social situations look more challenging than stressful.

Neat. I don’t think about these things when I’m calling myself Larrie, though.

Instead, talking to myself in the third person, even when it’s only in my head, always reminds me of “Calvin the Bold”, from the belovedCalvin and Hobbes.

I haven’t included a title with my own nickname, such as “the bold.” Probably because I can’t think of an appropriate adjective:

• Larrie the esoteric?
• Larrie the peculiar?
• Larrie the tired.