I Miss My Friend, Sugar

I used to eat lots of sugar. LOTS.

We’re talking about keeping stashes of fun size candy bars in different drawers and boxes at work.

Or wandering around looking in people’s offices to see if anyone happened to bring in donuts that day. After I found the box of donuts, I would do a little scheming. Let’s see, what do I have I could ask that person about a project of some sort?

“Hey Stephen,” I’d say, “I have a question about setting up automated tests in TFS. Have you done that often? Oh, look, you have donuts.”

“Oh yeah, you want one?”

“Oh, are you totally sure? I don’t want to take them from you and your team. Oh, is there a MAPLE donut?!”

I have a problem. I suppose you might call it an ADDICTION.

Which means I totally fail at “moderation in all things.”

So I haven’t eaten a candy bar since lunchtime on Tuesday.

Look, you might not think that this is a big deal, but IT IS.

There is this Reese’s Peanut Butter cup that is totally TAUNTING me from the treat bucket on the shelf behind me at work. Every time I look over my shoulder, it gets up and does a little dance. AND it’s bright orange so I notice it CONSTANTLY out of my peripheral.

Somebody else please come in and eat it before I do.

Yesterday afternoon, I was SO hungry. I didn’t think I would make it to the end of the day and survive the drive home to my husband’s delicious dinner. And do you know what I really wanted to eat?

The dancing PB cup, of course!

So instead, I ate some oatmeal. PLAIN oatmeal. WITHOUT brown sugar. It tasted like mushy cardboard. Oh boy. And while I was eating it, I read this story on Mashable that told me 16% of cell phones have POO on them. I didn’t finish all of my oatmeal. I threw away the last few bites of cardboard and got out several packages of alcohol wipes. Today, my phone is clean and totally POOP free. Also, my keyboard has been swabbed as has my mouse.

Back to yesterday after I had discarded the mushy cardboard and cleaned up my poop phone, I was still hungry. Sad face. Even the orange wrapper of that evil Reese’s cup looked yummy. So I ate some peanut butter. Just a little bit.

When I got home, Nathan made dinner. It was DELICIOUS, people. That PB cup at work couldn’t hold a candle to our salmon dinner.

See?

However, today, it’s still sitting there. All of the tootsie rolls in the treat bucket have hoisted it up on their shoulders like it’s just scored the game winning touchdown and now, all it wants to do is either go to Disneyland or satisfy my sugar craving.

Go to Disneyland evil little candy bar!

I’m going to eat mushy cardboard and drink a gallon of water.

YUMMY!

Have you ever tried to go off sugar? How did it go? Did you try to get rid of ALL sugars or just focused on the more sinister, refined stuff?

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4 comments

  1. Ugh that is a rough one. I too cannot resist the pull of sugar calling out to me like a siren. Regardless of how this goes for you, at least you can take comfort in the knowledge that you could have a much, much worse problem than you do. Even Nathan knows that I need some sort of rehab. I’ve been off sugar for almost a week now…unfortunately, by “off” I mean that I don’t buy 6+ full-sized candy bars per day for myself but I still can’t resist treats when they’re offered. I’m feeling a lot better without so much in my system though. maybe we can form some sort of support group? I hear talk of that being the key to really kicking the habit.

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  2. Tried it before, only lasted a few days, maybe even hours. Trying to do it again now, still failing miserably. Reese’s PB cups do little dances for me too and I can’t resist. Research shows refined sugar is more addicting than cocaine. I haven’t tried cocaine so I can’t speak from full experience but judging from my addiction to sugar, I can believe it. Way to opt for plain oatmeal and staying strong. I get desperate enough to raid our semi-sweet chocolate chips.

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  3. “The dancing PB cup, of course!”

    hahahaha….

    Umm, I tried for about one day in September. I failed. But I can skip out on candy, no problem. It’s the sugar in jellies, canned peaches, cereal, etc… the “hidden” sugars… that kill me. But if someone put a piece of pecan pie in front of me, forget it.

    I thought about being vegan once too. I died for a few hours as I contemplated, but then I realized I wasn’t vegan and then I lived again. Not that I’m a huge meat person, but I eat soup that has chicken broth and things with eggs and yogurt goodness… too much animal protein to part with…

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  4. My biggest sugar weakness is in sweet breads..soo yummy! I can’t just go off sugar, I do alot better allowing myself a very little bit of the refined crap and eating lots of fruit instead. Try bringing homemade muffins or bread so you have something to snack on. Less sugar, no additives and more fiber so you won’t get a sugar low. I bet Nathan makes delicious muffins ! 🙂

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