I used to eat lots of sugar. LOTS.
We’re talking about keeping stashes of fun size candy bars in different drawers and boxes at work.
Or wandering around looking in people’s offices to see if anyone happened to bring in donuts that day. After I found the box of donuts, I would do a little scheming. Let’s see, what do I have I could ask that person about a project of some sort?
“Hey Stephen,” I’d say, “I have a question about setting up automated tests in TFS. Have you done that often? Oh, look, you have donuts.”
“Oh yeah, you want one?”
“Oh, are you totally sure? I don’t want to take them from you and your team. Oh, is there a MAPLE donut?!”
I have a problem. I suppose you might call it an ADDICTION.
Which means I totally fail at “moderation in all things.”
So I haven’t eaten a candy bar since lunchtime on Tuesday.
Look, you might not think that this is a big deal, but IT IS.
There is this Reese’s Peanut Butter cup that is totally TAUNTING me from the treat bucket on the shelf behind me at work. Every time I look over my shoulder, it gets up and does a little dance. AND it’s bright orange so I notice it CONSTANTLY out of my peripheral.
Somebody else please come in and eat it before I do.
Yesterday afternoon, I was SO hungry. I didn’t think I would make it to the end of the day and survive the drive home to my husband’s delicious dinner. And do you know what I really wanted to eat?
The dancing PB cup, of course!
So instead, I ate some oatmeal. PLAIN oatmeal. WITHOUT brown sugar. It tasted like mushy cardboard. Oh boy. And while I was eating it, I read this story on Mashable that told me 16% of cell phones have POO on them. I didn’t finish all of my oatmeal. I threw away the last few bites of cardboard and got out several packages of alcohol wipes. Today, my phone is clean and totally POOP free. Also, my keyboard has been swabbed as has my mouse.
Back to yesterday after I had discarded the mushy cardboard and cleaned up my poop phone, I was still hungry. Sad face. Even the orange wrapper of that evil Reese’s cup looked yummy. So I ate some peanut butter. Just a little bit.
When I got home, Nathan made dinner. It was DELICIOUS, people. That PB cup at work couldn’t hold a candle to our salmon dinner.
However, today, it’s still sitting there. All of the tootsie rolls in the treat bucket have hoisted it up on their shoulders like it’s just scored the game winning touchdown and now, all it wants to do is either go to Disneyland or satisfy my sugar craving.
Go to Disneyland evil little candy bar!
I’m going to eat mushy cardboard and drink a gallon of water.
Have you ever tried to go off sugar? How did it go? Did you try to get rid of ALL sugars or just focused on the more sinister, refined stuff?