I’ve Been Assigned to a New City

I received my instructions in the mail and, just as I was told, memorized them, then destroyed the evidence. The instructions told me that I’m assigned to a new city.

I can’t tell you where, otherwise you’ll know what my witness protection name is.

If you want, you can try and guess. It’s a short list. Maybe you can guess which name on the list is my new name.

Here are the names and assigned cities: Witness Protection: Assigned Posts [TOP SECRET].

Why, might you ask, am I under witness protection?

And is my handsome husband going with me?

Well, let me answer the second question first: I sure hope so. And hopefully he’ll bring Pogi, too.

To answer your first question, I’ve been assigned this new name and location by my former English Professor, Louise Plummer, of course. It makes complete sense, really.

You see, she posted on her blog a few weeks ago a little rant about how people don’t name their children Louise. And that rant evolved into what her witness protection name would be, after which she asked blog readers what name they would like to have when they go into Witness Protection.

I like how she worded it: “What name would you like to have WHEN you go into Witness Protection?”

She didn’t ask, “if”, just “when.”

So now I know. It’s only a matter of time. And I suppose that time has come.

Since I posted a comment on her blog with my preferred Witness Protection name, she sent me an assignment.

I’m really looking forward to meeting new people, living in a new place (preferable with NO upstairs neighbors), and figuring out what kind of job I want to look for in our new city. Wish us luck!

Which city on that list would you prefer?



  1. I think you should be more worried about the fact that she said “My next witness protection name…” NEXT being the key word here. Be careful you aren’t falling in to the hands of a double agent.

    It also throws the entire validity of this rant in to question. Her real name is probably Ashleigh McKayla Weatherby.


    1. Ashleigh McKayla… such a Utah name.
      Now I feel like I don’t even know who my professor really is. She’s probably a spy, too. Under witness protection because of her spy background. Cool.


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