Episode 54: How to Find a Parking Spot at Work

There are too many people that drive cars to work for our parking lot to handle well. And every one of them wants a close parking spot. I don’t know how things are at your work, but I’ve noticed some interesting methods people use to try and find a decent parking spot when they arrive. (It’s SO hard to walk from the back of the lot where there are plenty of spots.) Here are some of those methods:

Stalker Method

I notice these cars, creeping slowly through the section of the parking lot closest to the door. They’re waiting. They’re probably watching the door, fingers crossed, hoping to see somebody walk out that they can follow. And you know what? They’re so easy to mess with. I did it once. Just the other week. I grabbed my keys and went for a walk to my car. I think I came up with the reason of needing to get my Frisbee out of the back seat. I saw the stalker a row away from me, creeping past the parked cars, creeping up on me. I kept walking. My car was all the way at the back of the lot. He stalked me almost the entire time and then finally decided to roll down his window and ask, “Are you leaving?” Nope, sorry. Stalk somebody else.

Fake Parking Spot Method

Sometimes, cars decide to ignore the red curb and park next to it anyway. I don’t know why they do. We have a company hired full time to enforce the parking. It’s not like you can just go out and rub the chalk off of the tire like we did in high school for the 2-hour parallel parking across the street. If you think you’re entitled to park next to the red curb because you don’t want to walk from the back of the far lot, you deserve a ticket.

Lazy Method

These are the people who come in at 10:00 a.m. and are sure that they will get a spot in the first row. The only problem is, all of the cars parked there are people that arrive at work between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m. So what do they do? Drive in circles around it waiting for one of those people to leave for lunch. By the time they finally park, the rest of us are going home for the day. But, hey, they have their close spot now.

Shady Spot Only Method

Our parking lots have lots of trees planted in little grassy areas throughout. So yes, you’d think, this would be great for providing shade during the hot summer months. But the trees are two days old and forgot to grow enough branches to grow enough trees to provide enough shade for even a Smart car. And yet, the spots that will eventually get a sliver of shade from these saplings are the first to go during the summer. I wonder if that means your car is only 109 degrees instead of the 110 that mine is inside. Thank you, shade.

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