Episode 33: How to talk to EXCESSIVELY liberal coworkers

I’m not a fan of people who are too far off to the left or right. I don’t much like the two-party system, but even more, I don’t like people who have strong feelings against one party and don’t research all of the history of “their” party. If you’ve analyzed my past political discussions here, you’ve probably noticed that I’m fairly conservative (moderate for Utah, conservative for the nation). Most of the people around me at work, however, are not in my camp. I’m surrounded by liberals. And some of them are one of two types: extreme or stupid.* I’m happy to have discussions with people who respect my views, I respect theirs, etc. But for some people, it’s their way or the highway. How do you talk to them? Here are a few tips (warning: this part is TOTALLY serious… because I write it and everything I write is serious):

  • Make them mad – It is SO easy to make people mad when they’re quick to take offense or they’re DISGUSTED by somebody with a different point of view. I didn’t even have to SAY anything and I ticked off half of the extreme/stupid liberals around me. All I did was bring in a Bush calendar. Before long, one of the VPs started taking their pictures with his phone, then printed them up, cut them out, and taped them to the calendar. Look! Liberals chumming with Bush! Too bad he’s no longer in office so I don’t get free calendars in the mail anymore.** Sigh.
  • Pretend that you appreciate their viewpoint – While I have liberal friends whose viewpoints I do appreciate, the extreme/stupid liberal coworkers are not these, because: 1) they are extreme and b) they are stupid. Their points aren’t relevant or valid if they don’t have any or if the only points they do have are about how evil and corrupt the other party is. It’s politics; duh. Everybody’s evil and corrupt.***
  • Just TRY and remind them of the definition of liberal – When was the last time you looked up liberal in the dictionary? Okay, fine. We live in 2009. When was the last time you googled a definition for liberal? Try it now. Tell me if extreme/stupid liberals fit THAT definition. Makes me laugh. Liberal: broad, large-minded, TOLERANT.
  • Quote every liberal’s favorite author, Ann Coulter – She wrote a book, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must), which I never read, but found a few phrases from online. I’m going to memorize these and try dropping them at lunchtime. Should get a better response than the Bush calendar: “Liberals can’t just come out and say they want to take more of our money, kill babies and discriminate on the basis of race”; “the best way to convert liberals is to have them move out of their parents’ home, get a job, and start paying taxes.” (Note to self: probably don’t become friends with Coulter.)
  • Ask them easy questions – Try testing their political knowledge. I was HONESTLY surprised that they got these two questions wrong: Before this past election, which political party controlled both houses of congress? Which candidate claimed to have campaigned in 57 states?**** But don’t worry, though, because they knew which candidate had a pregnant daughter and which spent $150,000 on clothes. However, they got the question wrong about which candidate said they could see Russia from their house. That wasn’t a candidate. That was Tina Fey.

*Stop getting offended. Seriously. People who get offended when somebody doesn’t share the exact same political opinion as they do are wimpy and disrespectful. I’m not saying there aren’t stupid conservatives. Anybody who supports a party or candidate and doesn’t do their research on why, is stupid.

**Boy, there’s a reason for ya to keep somebody in office, eh?

***Yes, this even includes the country’s “savior,” Obama. If you don’t believe me, you didn’t do your research on his past. Watch out for the present and future. Politics is corrupt. He’s a politician.

****Okay, so I don’t really care that they didn’t know that Obama was confused on how many states we have. But, they highlight every blunder Bush makes in a speech. Why not accept that nobody’s perfect?

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3 comments

  1. You should actually ask them what the original definition of liberal is. Look up Classical Liberalism on Wikipedia and you’ll find out that basically what conservatism is now, is what liberalism used to be. Confusing, eh? I am happy to be called a liberal, a classic liberal that is.

    Like

  2. @mom – glad you like my random asides and I must thank Katie for letting me borrow the “format”

    @sabrina – we should bring back classical liberalism

    Like

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