Episode 21: Politics at Work

We’re not talking office politics. And we’re not talking about how many people in IT think Dilbert should run for President. But I’m just wondering… what do I do when the topic of U.S. politics comes up at lunch?

Usually, I’m all for talking politics. BUT (that but is a big disclaimer, people), I prefer to have those discussions with open, respectful people. Some of my coworkers are NEITHER.

If there’s even a hint of anything less than utter disgust for any Republican in the ENTIRE WORLD, they punch a fist through your chest and rip out your soul so it’s easier to yell at it. Clearly, your entire soul is corrupted if you’re not so far left, you’ve forgotten what free society is.

So now that you understand the veracity with which my coworkers attack non-liberals, you understand that I brought this on myself the day I hung a BUSH CALENDAR in my cubicle. Gasp! How could I?

Come on, people. How could I not?! With coworkers that are so extreme in their views, they were just ASKING for somebody to play the total-opposite card in order to invite red-hot fury. How could ANYONE in this UNIVERSE dare to put up a calendar of the evil despot, Bush? Unbelievable. And the reactions were priceless. It didn’t take long before I was even being shunned by a manager from another group in a different department who HAPPENED to stroll by my desk shortly after the calendar went up.

By the end of the day, there were notes and such taped to the calendar. But the best part is what happened the next day.

I came in to work around nine and noticed that the notes that had been taped to the calendar were gone and had been replaced with some new additions: pictures of my coworkers. Now half of the people from my group were also waving with the President and his wife. Before long, the Mighty IT Director came down the row with his Treo, looking to take more pictures and print them up on his laser. It was a SUPERB project for him—cutting them out after and taping them up in a good location on that calendar month’s picture. He, of course, was trying REALLY HARD to get a picture of the manager from the other group / other department because it would really IRK her to be on the SAME CALENDAR AS BUSH.

Yep, he finally got her and every month, I move all of my coworkers to the next month where they hobnob with Bush and sometimes, Laura and Cheney.

THEY LOVE IT!

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5 comments

  1. You know the response is pretty similiar around a bunch of close-minded Republicans and one states they are a Libertarian. 😉 (Thankfully your not a close-minded Republican, but sadly both sides of the political spectrum have em. Frustrating eh?)

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  2. Okay, so what are all these people supposed to be doing anyway? Is there going to be some type of shortage, or angry customers, or something? Why are these people even there? (besides to be angry, opinionated, and vengeful)

    But, seriously, that calendar was SO being asked for! Good job, Larrie.

    (can you tell I’ve never worked in an office, and totally don’t get the goings-on of that world)

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  3. @kow – I’m unaffiliated, missy… so watch who you’re calling a republican.
    @linds – you would NOT be a fan of many of my coworkers… definitely not – but I’m glad you approve of my calendar, too – thumbs up

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  4. @brian – you bet; I probably learned this type of behavior from my three older brothers… they were experts at teasing and pushing buttons, etc

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