Episode 20: The Doughnut Race

Every now and then, the geeks I work with in IT decide to show off their athletic prowess. A few years ago, we had the S2K Hare & Tortoise Sprint Challenge (sponsored by the Hungarian Triathalon Union). We also take part in corporate games each year and try not to embarrass ourselves playing basketball, soccer, ultimate Frisbee, golf and poker.

Today, we held the Spontaneous Doughnut Race sponsored by our new Madame Secretary. Here’s how the event went down…

The Mighty IT Director had ONE box of donuts (I spell that word differently than Madame Secretary). He wanted to give Madame Secretary the opportunity to witness the speed and prowess of his department so he set the box on her desk and had her send an email to the department of 124 IT geeks:

Good Morning Everyone!
There are doughnuts up by my desk if anyone wants them.
Madame Secretary

As soon as she hit ‘Send’ the race was ON!

Runners were sitting at their desks busily typing away at emails, queries, code, or surfing the internet when the little email message pops up in the corner of their screen – Subject: Doughnuts.

On your marks, get set…

There were false starts all around the cube farm.

”Donuts!” I yelled over the cube wall to Bethy the Third while jumping from my chair. As we rapidly exited our cubes, we saw McJosh speed walking up the row behind us. He started pushing, I started running, we swung around the corner, taking the turn wide in my heels, only to see several programmers throwing their chests out as they crossed the finish line first and opened the lid of the donut box.

My only chance was to run to the box from inside of Madame Secretary’s cube, instead of waiting in line in front of her cube. “Ladies first,” I declared.

”Oh, okay,” replied the kind, Asian programmer as he took the first donut. I grabbed the chocolate sprinkles triumphantly while others went for the plain ol’ glazed.

And the race had ended. The box was gone and in a mere 30 seconds, the winners returned to their cubes to await their sugar high.

As I walked away, the Mighty IT Director stood, leaning against a cubicle wall across from Madame Secretary’s desk, laughing.

Upon returning to my desk, another email:

All the doughnuts are gone. You guys are fast!
Madame Secretary

In the distance, the DBAs could be heard crying over an empty donut box.


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