Welcome to this week’s installment of Therapy Thursdays where Larrie (LRE) meets with her imaginary therapist (DOC) and they discuss the deep, dark and dusty corners of Larrie’s mind. Yes, it gets scary sometimes.
DOC: You look tired.
LRE: Is that how we have to begin every session? Maybe it will improve though because I’ve got me some ‘natural’ remedies.
DOC: Oh yeah? Such as…
LRE: Pantothenic acid, melatonin, Allerplex and Oregon Grape Root.
DOC: What’s the root one for?
DOC: Well, yeah, but you don’t know more specifically?
LRE: Not really… let me google it…
Waiting while she types.
LRE: Wikipedia tells me that it “works to decrease bacterial resistance to antibiotics and antibacterial agents… used in the treatment of infection.”
DOC: Ok, so whatever it is you have, don’t give it to me; I like sleeping at night.
LRE: I bet.
DOC: So any lists for this week? Or would you like to talk about frustrations, dating, family, dreams?
DOC: Great. How are things with your parents?
LRE: Fine; let’s talk about my cousin.
DOC: Your cousin?
LRE: Yes, Sir Pee-a-Lot.
DOC: You have a cousin named that?
LRE: Sure do; and today is HER BIRTHDAY!!!
DOC: So your birthday present to her is to talk about her with your imaginary therapist?
LRE: Mm-hmm. Isn’t that a thoughtful present? Not many people can offer THAT.
DOC: No, I suppose not. So how’d she get the name? (Which, by the way, doesn’t quite work for a girl since ‘Sir’ is a male salutation. Duh.)
LRE: From our San Francisco trip where we seemed to have to stop frequently driving out so Sir Pee-a-Lot could go pee, of course. And so we could take pictures. Lots of them. Because she’s my photographer hero.
DOC: It’s good to have heroes.
LRE: Yep, especially heroes who manage to survive the coldest day of our lives.
DOC: Coldest? In San Francisco?
LRE: Right. According to my aunt, whom we were visiting.
DOC: And was it?
LRE: Not quite; before long, Sir Pee-a-Lot and Maren were both stripping off layers and layers of clothes; I couldn’t believe they had even packed all those layers. Even Martin, who was driving the speedboat was flabbergasted.
DOC: You just used the word flabbergasted.
DOC: So mind explaining how layers of clothing, speedboats and the coldest day of your lives all came together?
LRE: Sure; I can handle that. We wanted to go whale watching out in the ocean one morning, being that it was January in San Fran and the whales are in the hood around then. So we got up early (I hated that part) and started putting on loads of clothes because Auntie N warned us about this being the coldest day of our lives. I was a bit worried because I ALWAYS under packed so I hadn’t brought thermal underwear, enough sweaters to re-clothe a herd of sheep, or even multiple pairs of socks. Oh well.
DOC: And you’re always cold, aren’t you?
LRE: Basically. But we climbed into the car, went over to Martin’s and drove out to the Marina. Before long, we were smacking up and down through waves as big as the boat, looking for whales. Nothing out here; let’s try over there; nothing. Until finally we found porpoises playing in the waves so we drove over to join them. By this time, Maren and Sir Pee-a-Lot had removed several closets full of layers and offered a few extra sweaters to the smaller porpoises that didn’t have as much blubber on them.
DOC: That’s kind.
LRE: Sure. So we never saw any whales, but the porpoises were cool and then we saw a whole ton of Man O’ Wars. Nobody offered them ANY sweaters.
DOC: Sounds like a pretty adventurous vacation.
LRE: Sure was. Along with drying my pants out the window, eating at The Cheesecake Factory, the Not Well Posse, riding the ‘trorrey’ past ‘rrombard street,’ taking a picture of our Asian friend at Ghiradelli Square, hanging out at Pier 39, getting our tickets punched to smitherings by the conductor on the BART, breaking into my Aunt’s apartment, and missing the countdown to midnight for the start of the new year, 2001.
DOC: You could probably use some more vacations like that.
LRE: Seriously. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COUS!