They’re Back… Financial Insecurities

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Welcome to this week’s excitement installment of Therapy Thursdays – yes, it is Thursday, not Friday, yet. Deal with it. The doctor is in and Larrie decided that she does, indeed need to show up for her appointments for the sake of entertaining all you Sciolist fans. Sometimes, however, she does wonder if this is actually entertaining or just proving Freddy’s point that she’s crazy… (P.S. Click on the link to the right for the survey if you haven’t already taken it. Seriously… you’ll get a GOOD laugh.)

DOC: You made it.

LRE: Hooray. That’s what my supervisor should say every morning and be PROUD of me for winning the battle of mind over mattress.

DOC: It’s a battle?

LRE: Every morning… a life-long war and I take it one snooze button at a time.

DOC: You think you’re funny, don’t you?

LRE: Clearly.

DOC: So let’s start off with any insecurity you are feeling right now.

LRE: Right-o. We can start with financial insecurities.

DOC: But I thought that the chiropractor cured you of that and you are now financially ready for a MAN?

LRE: That’s what I thought, too, but then I read this article on MSN about credit scores. Can you believe that incurring library fines can ding my credit score?! UNBELIEVABLE.

DOC: Well, it is your fault for not taking the book back in time.

LRE: Clearly, but what’s the library got to go and report this back to the credit bureaus for?

DOC: What kind of a sentence is that? Aren’t you an English major?

LRE: Yes, and eventually, a master of writing technically.

DOC: I take it that only affects your writing and not your speaking, though.

LRE: Indeed.

DOC: Okay, so you’re feeling financially insecure now because you have library fines?

LRE: Keeps me up at nights.

DOC: Really?

LRE: Sure, that seems like a good reason for only getting four hours last night.

DOC: It might actually be easier for you to stay awake at work if you slept more.

LRE: REALLY? You DON’T say.

DOC: I could try and help you with that.

LRE: How? Ambien?

DOC: Sure, some imaginary Ambien prescribed by your imaginary psych.

LRE: I won’t even take that stuff if it’s imaginary. Maybe next week, I’ll tell you why not.

DOC: Fine then, back to the library fines. What book didn’t you return on time?

LRE: Books. The Design of Everyday Things, The Form of the Book, Liberal Fascism: the Secret History of the American Left, from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning, and Freelance Writing for Magazines and Newspapers.

DOC: Was it worth it?

LRE: Mostly. I’d recommend all of the books, but the last one, which I never got around to reading.

DOC: Maybe you should try checking out ONE book at a time.

LRE: I can’t; it’s physically impossible for me to leave a library or bookstore without at least an armful of literature.

DOC: Sounds like a tough disease for your bank account.

LRE: And credit score.

DOC: Since I AM a doctor, I’ll use my impressive Latin vocabulary to create a name for your disease: chronic libri-effercio-ligatio.

LRE: Sounds like a spell from Harry Potter.

DOC: Maybe it’ll make your armfuls of literature levitate so you don’t have to carry them out to your car.

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