Episode 2 – The Sexist Vending Machine


I followed Ryan into the far-away break room yesterday. I had to walk FIVE MILES just to get to the other end of the “campus” where they have the vending machine with ICE CREAM. Clearly, it would be worth the walk. It would be… BUT…

Sometimes I wonder if they put the ice cream in the far-away break room where the IT folks who don’t get out much might actually have to walk in order to get some. If all they had to do was take an elevator, they couldn’t keep the ice cream stocked.

Ryan used the vending machine first. It’s a fancy-dancy machine with a freezer side and a regular side. A year or two ago, our CEO decided to vend only healthy choices and the chocolate disappeared. Just recently, dark chocolate Hershey bars have reappeared. Isn’t that super?

Ryan stuck his money in the machine and typed in the three digits to select Sun Chips. We watched as the little metal clasps (I have NO IDEA what the technical term for those things might be) spun as the chips came forward slowly and then STOPPED. Gasp!

Oh no. You’re worried for poor Ryan, I know, but don’t be. The machine thought better and started spinning again. It didn’t stop until AFTER two bags of Sun Chips dropped to the bottom. Apparently, the vending machine was holding a BUY-ONE-GET-ONE-FREE sale!

My turn.

In goes my dollar bills, I punch in the three numbers for the Snickers Ice Cream bar (PLEASE don’t tell the CEO that these aren’t made with dark chocolate) and what happened? I’ll tell you what happened. The machine looked me up and down, found me wanting and said, “Listen, Missy; I only dish out for men and you don’t even have a mustache or nose hairs so you’re not fooling me. TRY ANOTHER SELECTION.”

I don’t want another selection. I want my Snickers ice cream.

I threw a fit right then and there on the floor of the break room. Ryan had to drag me back to my cubicle FIVE MILES AWAY, kicking and screaming the whole way (after I had at least gotten my money back from the sexist vending machine).

3 thoughts on “Episode 2 – The Sexist Vending Machine

  1. think of all the calories you burned during your tantrum… you deserve two chocolate snickers ice cream bars…


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