Episode 50: Fridays Used to be Capri Fridays

I kept on finding great excuses to buy new shoes: I’d started a new job; that job required closed-toe shoes; I probably needed these shoes in many different styles and colors; and then we decided to have Capri Fridays! It was Janet’s idea and, of course, I went along with it. This also meant that I now needed cute, casual sneakers to wear each week. The collection slowly started to grow: a fluorescent green pair of Diesel sneakers, a black pair of Pumas, brown, rugged J-41s.

I loved Capri Fridays and needed to share that love with others I worked with so on Thursdays, I would go around telling women (because I don’t live in Europe so no men were included, sorry) to wear their capris the next day.

I told Cindy and she just stared at me, thinking, “Why would I take style advice from you? You have fluorescent green shoes.”

I told Tammi. She laughed and replied, “I’m too white to show any part of my legs at work.”

“That doesn’t stop me,” I retorted, but my argument was futile.

I told Mzia and she said, “Okay!”

And then one day Janet left the company. It ruined Capri Fridays. Nobody around here even remembers that we once had them.

Probably because they really only existed in my world, with Janet playing along and once, several years ago, Mzia also wore her capris on a Friday.

Kind of like how nobody takes a Diet Coke Break now or excuses themselves to use the middle stall.

So instead, I tried to instigate High Five Fridays!

Do you think it stuck?

Episode 48: Improving my PC Posture

A chiropractor once joked with me about how we’ve DE-evolved. If we started out hunched over as apes, then eventually stood up straight like men, we’ve gone back to hunching over like apes again. Blame Bill Gates or Steve Jobs; pick your poison.

I came into work the other morning, and sat down at my desk. Oh super, I thought, another day of typing, not answering the phone (since it doesn’t ring), and feeling exhausted by 2:00 p.m. The exhaustion, is brought on by my posture, not so much by the work. When I first accepted my job, part of my negotiations included a very nice, ergonomic chair. They said yes, because they knew my lower back is past its prime and would complain constantly otherwise. Poor lower back. It needs a cane.

Since then, my mid and upper-backs have been complaining. My lower back would probably like to tell them to shush up already because they don’t have any herniations to complain about. But, they’re still fussy and they get louder and whine more as the day progresses.

So I started stretching. Turns out, there are plenty of ways to help my back evolve back to that of a man and leave my ape ways behind.

1. Switch up the mouse every so often. I know, if the mouse is on the left-side, it seems awkward or we feel the need to make fun of the south paws. Don’t. It’s actually good to change that up so you’re not always just reaching for the clicker with your right hand. Also, it’s good brain stimulation to have to click with your middle finger.
2. Put your keyboard on your lap. This, however, is more difficult than it sounds unless you have a wireless keyboard. I still struggle with getting the wire to allow me to pull my keyboard down to my lap to type and then allow me to set the thing back on the desk when it’s time for a bathroom break.
3. Every time I send an email, I drop my shoulders. Throughout the day, I have a tendency to hunch my shoulders up. This happens every time I look at the hours remaining on one CERTAIN project where I’m not the biggest fan of one of the coworkers involved. Turns out, this is how I handle stress so I’m trying to help myself relieve it by rolling my shoulders back and down every time I hit SEND.
4. I stretch on the roller. We have a gym onsite here at work and one of the nice quirks is that it’s stocked with foam rollers. So on particularly bad days, I’ll take a 15-minute break to go and lie down on one of those, with the roller running the length of my spine, and make snow angels in the carpet. Is nice.
5. I raised my monitors. I don’t want to hurt my neck by looking down at an angle to my monitors so I found a couple of phonebooks (so high tech, right?) and lifted both of those bad boys up to a nice height. Feels better.
6. I stretch against the wall. Another stretch that really helps me (because my mid back is über tight) is to lean up against the wall, knees bent so my entire spine is against the wall, then put my shoulders and elbows against the wall so I look like I’m being held up by a bank robber. I then slowly raise my arms until they touch over my head without letting my shoulders, elbows or wrists come off of the wall. Okay. I totally lied right there. Most people can do that just fine. I, however, can only move my arms up a few inches. It’s sad, but I have really high hopes for one day touching my hands together. One day.

Also, there’s some good stretches here: http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/01/improve-your-hunched-over-pc-posture.html

Episode 46: A Corporate Lactation Program

I logged in to our time clock application this morning: Double click to open the kiosk, enter employee number, enter last four digits of social security number (oooo, how secure). Ah, there you are. Let’s check and see when I’ve been arriving at work. Yep, lookin’ good (for me):
8:11 AM
8:09 AM
8:05 AM
8:26 AM
8:16 AM

Let’s check and see how much paid time off I have accrued. OH BEAUTIFUL VACATION HOW SWEET IT IS: 89:10 hours just waiting for me to sign up for on the calendar. I need to come up with a way to trick my boss into letting me use those. Last year, it was, “Hey, I’m going to Portland, where you used to live and I need some suggestions on where to go… oh yeah? Multnomah falls? Sounds good. Oh, yeah, and will you approve my vacation, please? It’s in four days and I already bought the flights. Thank you.” Yep, I got the vacation.

Okay, back to the time clock application.

Let’s check and see how much long-term sick I have accrued: HOLY FRAGRANT B.M., BATMAN, THAT’S A LOT OF SICK TIME: 264:53. So if I want to use that I have to do one of three things: really get injured so I have a doctor’s note about why I’m staying home or in the hospital for 33 days; find a doctor friend who will write me a note and a really good reason like, “Her imaginary therapist (whom she fired) says she needs a mental break for 33 days or she’ll go seriously insane”; or, have a baby.

Looks like I won’t be using that sick time for a long time, but that brings me to my next topic: having a baby.

I was talking to Stacky last week.

“Hey, you look pregnant.”

She’s due at the end of July and I’ve known since almost the start. See how funny I am saying things like that? We laughed so hard.

No. We didn’t. Stacky just looked at me and said, “So, I look fat?”

I quickly changed the subject to something much less awkward.

“So. You’re going to be breastfeeding before too long now.”

Yeah, I’m pretty smooth. And somehow, instead of giving me an odd look, she started talking about some of the things that she’s purchased already, some of which are related to breastfeeding, but let’s not really go into details here. And then I found out about our company’s HUGE SECRET.

Did you know that companies have corporate lactation programs?

Yeah, you read that right: a lactation program.

Somebody in HR was sitting around one day thinking, “Hmm, wonder what kind of a benefit program I could come up with today because I don’t have anything else to do this moment.” She looked over at a picture of her little baby and thought about how right this moment, she’d really LOVE to have a private place to pump some milk.

Yep. That’s how it went down and the next day, the lactation room was created.

So now I have a new mission at work and it has nothing to do with testing web applications. Somewhere there is a locked door and behind it, is a serene room with soothing music, comfortable chairs and, if I was the designer, a couple of hammocks.

We have a lactation room somewhere.

They give out keys to this secret room.

It’s a benefit I had no idea existed.

Did I mention that there is a SECRET lactation room somewhere?

I’m going to go for a walk now. There’s a door down the hall that I haven’t checked behind yet.

Episode 45: 10 Steps for Work-Life Balance in the IT World

It’s tough some times to strike that ideal balance between life and work. For me, I am always hoping to find that career path that leads to me being paid to do whatever I want (like travel places on an airplane, play soccer, drive sweet cars, etc). So until I find that path*, I continue to adjust the scales to balance my geeky IT job with my totally-not-geeky life. It is SO tough, but I came up with a helpful list to help.

Inspiration comes from Forbes.com’s 10 items list.

1. Identify Priorities. What do you want out of work and personal life? Enough money to buy the sweetest gaming PC? More than enough money to retire early and start your own web company? Or perhaps your goal is just to avoid too much social interaction and spend quality time with your code. Whatever it is, make a list. Then, see if you think those priorities are appropriate.
2. Edit Yourself Personally and Professionally. If you’re spending all of your time playing with electric-shock tanks, Sudoku, or photoshopping your coworkers into awkward pictures, you should probably take a minute to evaluate how much time you have to dedicate to your important tasks (those being the ones that your boss expects you to do). Apparently, if you get your work done, you can go.
3. Learn Your Employer’s Policies. For some IT folk, this could require a HUGE lifestyle change: like showering daily and ALWAYS putting on deodorant. It’s important to know what your employer expects from your appearance and other policies.
4. Have a Support System. You’ll probably want different support systems for different needs: support for helping when you can’t figure out the problem with your code, support for when you need a mental break and want to talk about the latest LAN game, and support for when you want to complain about a coworker. You might want to save that last one for somebody not at work.
5. Communicate. If you don’t like to communicate in person much (because of body odor or personal bubble issues), hit up your coworkers on IM. Don’t overcommunicate, though. The entire 100+ IT department probably doesn’t care if you’re taking a day off so just tell the people you work with directly. You’re not THAT important.
6. Use Technology to Your Advantage. Obviously, if you work in IT, you’re expected to use lots of geeky applications and all of the real-estate on your multiple monitors.. But something you might not think about is NOT to let technology take over your life. Don’t bring your iPhone to the dinner table with you.
7. Telecommute. If you’re a developer and your boss likes you, you can work from home twice a week, plus have every Friday off because you work four ten-hour shifts. If you’re in Software QA, regardless of how much your boss likes you, you don’t get to work from home, take any Fridays off and your probably work five nine- or ten-hour shifts, plus check in on the weekend. But feel free to check about options for commuting.
8. Find a Balance Mentor. If you see somebody who seems to have life well balanced, try to be like him. Just be wary that if he’s spending lots of time with his kids and you don’t have kids, this doesn’t mean that you should spend lots of time with HIS kids. Get a dog.
9. Set a Time Frame. Write down your goals, make them specific and assign time to them. Go get ‘em, Tiger. Good goal: accomplish this specific development task in 1.5 hours. Bad goal: work really hard for another year until somebody thinks I finally deserve a better job title.
10. Be Sure to Ask. If you don’t ask for flexible hours, you’ll never get it. It can’t hurt. Unless of course you are on-call, then don’t expect your boss to be okay with you not answering the pager on a Friday because you decided not to work that day. That’s a good way for your boss to give you REALLY flexible hours – the kind where you don’t come back.

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*Or find me a sugar daddy.

Episode 40: Today’s Team Meeting – Subject: Century Egg

My boss is out; my lead is out; it’s Friday and March Madness is happenin’. Despite all of this, I’m working. It’s the best way to make the day go faster. That’s ALWAYS the theme of Friday, you know, hurry up and bring on the weekend already.

With the boss-ship being out today, we don’t have our regular team meeting. For some reason, this meant that we needed to have an irregular team meeting. This is the meeting that involved the century egg and for this (despite my tendency to get loquacious with the typed-word) I will let the pictures do the talking.

(I didn’t actually take the pictures so don’t try to give me a hard time if you don’t think they captured the “action” as well as you may have liked.)

Episode 36: What would YOU do with four walls?

Stacky forgot yesterday that she only has three walls here at work. I reminded her of this, but didn’t remind her that those walls are mostly made of fabric and not even as tall as I. They’re still taller cubicle walls than some workplaces, though.

So I got to thinking about what life would be like with four walls at work. Stacky helped me with this thinking. We came up with a nice list in our IM conversation of what we would do if we could close the door and get some privacy. None of the list items had to do with working… imagine that.

10 things to do with four walls at work:

1. Sleep – a power nap every now and then (or every morning and afternoon) would really work wonders for me
2. Exercise – we’re not talking about lifting weights or busting out the treadmill here, but more like some yoga stretching after sitting for so long
3. Surf – cowabunga, dudes, we can look up stuff online without checking over our shoulder constantly
4. Read books – yes, this was my preference and I do it anyway, but only when I eat lunch at my desk
5. Read magazines – Stacky prefers this type of reading enjoyment
6. Photoshop pictures of my coworkers – need I say more?
7. Play computer games – it’s been ages since a good game of hearts against my PC
8. Change – sometimes, it’d be nice to mix the day up a little by changing my shirt… just for the reactions of coworkers
9. Breastfeed – guess who came up with this one
10. Pick your teeth, nose, and/or wedgie – because we’re ladies and would NEVER do these things in public

What would you do with a little privacy at work?

Episode 28: “If you weren’t my boss, I might flip you off.”

You’re wondering about the title of this blog, right? Well, those words weren’t MY words. They were the words of my coworker, and yes, they were to my boss. It was in a meeting today. It gives you an idea of what meetings are like with my coworkers. And today’s meeting went long.

Our meetings NEVER go over. At least not with just my department.

THIS IS A SIGN OF THE TIMES.

It’s true. Seriously.

Times are changing around here and I’ve got my fingers crossed that when Millennium happens, we don’t all melt in the fire.

It’s a bit esoteric, I know. You don’t understand why I’m talking about Millennium and the possibility of following the fate of the Wicked Witch of the West. But, it’s true. We might melt. Please don’t throw any water on me for a while.

Or as my boss put it… we might turn into jell-o.

That sounds delicious.

This is what happens when a company nears the implementation of a three-year, millions-of-dollars project: a project that revolves entirely around a system called Millennium.

People get rather edgy, tempers flare, somebody came to my desk today nearly crying (please don’t cry at work and let ANYBODY see you), and earlier today, my coworker publicly declared her wishes to flip off my boss.

It is interesting to see how people react to stress. And isn’t it so nice to have added stress to the “stress of the holidays” by this HUGE project?

Yes. Very.

Here are the ways I have noticed that my coworkers react to stress (which one do you relate with?):

• Excessive laughter
• Sleepiness
• Lack of sleep
• Shrug your shoulders when anybody asks a serious question
• Quickly change the subject
• Smoke
• Drink
• Yell at family
• Cook in the middle of the night
• Refuse to shave
• Refuse to shower*
• “Be sick” or take an unapproved vacation
• Work excessively
• Swear
• Blame others
• Don’t have a clue what’s going on
• Complain
• Make long lists on your blog about coworkers’ inabilities to cope with stress

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*Okay, this is a lie. As far as I can smell, nobody is skipping showers, THANK YOU.

Episode 27: It’s Black Friday; I’m At Work; I Don’t Work in Retail

I just got back from our on-site cafeteria. It was a long walk. I had to walk from Building 3, where I work in the mighty IT department, through buildings 2, 1.5 and into 1 where the cafeteria is.

It was rather deserted, for a Friday. There were a handful of people, yes, but still… deserted.

It’s not deserted here in IT. And just after 3:00 pm on a Friday, there is still quite a bit of hustle and bustle around the geek cube farms.

Sadly, I have only once heard a hint of the holiday we had yesterday and that came from a coworker who explained that she made mashed potatoes for the first time ever. (Seriously. I’m not making THAT up.)

Since nobody’s mentioning Thanksgiving, I’ll just have to mention it here on my blog. Even though I wasn’t feeling well, the food that I did eat was delicious and the many, many family members were a delight. I don’t think anybody’s Thanksgivings could possibly be AS good as the Campbells’. Sorry. We make the rest of the world look average.

So sitting here at work on a day when people are NOT at work, I thought I’d lift my spirits by making a list of the things I’m grateful for. It’s a work-related list.

• A job
• Two monitors, which I have NO idea how anybody did this job with ONLY one
• Ten fingers—for typing (and also playing piano)
• The New York Times crosswords in the Daily Utah Chronicle
• Google—it taught me how to do my job… mostly
• Not having an office—so I can hear my coworkers through the walls and remember that I am not alone, EVEN TODAY
• Sitting close to the bathroom*
• My fancy-dancy ergonomic chair, which keeps my back happy
• My extension: 6226
• Counting down to five years of service when I’ll get a gift, PLUS be fully vested in the money my company has put into my retirement account (or at least, what’s left of it)**
• The candy bucket
• Vending machines that have no chocolate… wait, I’m not sure I like that one

If you were to make a work-related Thanksgiving list, what would be at the top of yours?

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Political Link of the Day: “The New Political Economy”

Today’s extreme stock market volatility is not just a symptom of fear — fear cannot account for days of wild market swings upward — but a reaction to meta-economic events: political decisions that have vast economic effects.

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*I never SMELL the bathroom, but on certain days, it’s nice to have close by… one of those days happened to be Tuesday, when I only had a short walk to the middle stall where I vomited. Hey, I got to go home early that day!

**Three and a half years done so far… so close and yet so not close. (I already used so far in the first half of the sentence so I couldn’t repeat it AGAIN.)

Episode 27: Rivalry Friday

It’s a big game this weekend, right? I mean, we’re talking HUGE. It is such a big deal that people’s salvations hang in the balance because it’s a holy war of sorts. You’re either blue or red—no purple allowed.

So an email went out to my entire company yesterday.

Subject: Rivalry Week Team Colors

Dear Colleagues,

In the spirit of college rivalry week, we encourage employees to wear their team colors to work on Friday and Saturday. Enjoy the excitement of the week and cheer your team to victory.

As always, please stay professional, respectful and safe at work.

Go Team!

I’m wearing my professional BYU shirt today. It has a collar, therefore, it is professional. But, it’s always a bit cold in the office so I have on my BYU sweatshirt, too. Just wanted to make sure that my boss (who’s wearing a big read Ute sweatshirt) doesn’t forget that her subordinate is cheering for the enemy.

I’m so glad they told us to be safe. Otherwise, we might start wrapping statues in saran wrap and guarding Y Mount. Oh… right. That’s what they do on campus at the Y because of the big, bad U students that are sure to go down to Provo and paint their “eternal family” statue all red. What would happen to all those Cougar fans if they woke up in the morning to find the Y on the mountain painted red and all of the ROTC cadets that were SUPPOSED to be guarding it, knocked unconscious? Rivalry week is a scary thing.

Really. It’s SCARY.

For me.

My eternal family is red. So what is the blue sheep of the family to do tomorrow if my Cougars lose to the best Ute team since Urban Meyer?

(When I was little, Jarv and Thane used to cheer for the Cougars, too.)

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Political Link of the Day: “What is the average hourly wage of a UAW auto worker?“

Episode 26: Things Around the Office

You wouldn’t be surprised if I told you that IT personnel have some strange items decorating their cubes, right? Because if you were surprised, then you CLEARLY don’t know anybody working in IT.

I took a BRIEF stroll up and down some of the rows at work and collected this little list of some of these decorations:

• Pictures of the night support guy scrubbed in for surgery
• A cordless drill
• Call of Duty 4 poster
• Postcards from across the country (where her coworkers have been while she was NOT on PTO)
• Foam-missile guns
• Matrix poster
• Matrix poseable figures
• Ant Farm
• Computer problem resolution flow chart t-shirt
• LCD picture frames (lots of these)
• A troll doll with bright green hair

Next time I’m here late, when the lights have turned off, the normal people* have gone home and the only sounds are from spinning hard-drives, I may wander around and take pictures of people’s cubicles. There is one in particular that would blow you away and make you wonder where his work surface is.

As far as my desk? Well, I’ve got several different calendars, myriad pictures, some certificates of appreciation, a Get Fuzzy cartoon, an xkcd cartoon, and an x-ray of my toe.

So what do you think? How’s my toe look? Who wants to bring me dinners following surgery?

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Political Link of the Day: “Obama Team Sheds Light on New Administration”

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*normal for IT is sort of stretching it, but go with me on this one