Working On My Tan

Jane and I were working on our tans at Newport Beach. Look! No shinguard line…

A Week Without Larrie

In case you’re confused or haven’t followed my blog very well, I am currently on vacation in Newport Beach. So how can I write Friday’s post about the IT Office if I’m not in the office? That’s where the geek that is Larrie comes in.

I’ve been checking in on the IT Office via my motion-sensitive webcam in my cubicle and here’s what I’ve witnessed:

• Josh 1 ate all of the candy in my cube that had any peanut butter.
• Josh 2 stopped every time he walked by, hung his head and sighed.
• Every morning, a group of software testers get together to draw straws and see who borrows my supremely ergonomic chair for the day.
• The janitors play hang-man on my white board every night; best word so far: callipygian.
• I always thought that janitors emptied my garbage and recycle cans every night, but this is so not true; the raccoons do it and the smaller raccoon with new liners for the garbage can is only with the group every fourth night.
• My phone rings more when I’m not there, but my money is on Josh 2 calling just to annoy my coworkers on either side of me.
• I still don’t know who swiped my family picture.

Don’t worry coworkers. I’ll be back on Monday. Somebody really should return my family picture.

Emma’s California To-Do List and Concerning a Dead Body

Mick emailed the family last week about the to-do list Emma wrote for our California trip. Check it out:

Mick’s translation:

Fun Things
Play game
Look at stars
Swim at the bech (also known as beach)
Have fun food
Sand big the shoa (your guess is as good as mine on that one)
Wach the f.w. (short for fireworks – and we assume she means at Disneyland)
Wach fum (or fun) movie
Do fun A. (because why write out Activities?)
Play with K. (Kate of course)
Make S.C. (sand castles)
Play with G. (although they love G this one is for Grandparents)
Wach Emma and Jane danss (which is a really cool type of dance)
Fid ice cearm (the California way to find and consume ice cream quickly)

And as a post-script, apparently it’s not that cool to mention a dead body in passing. But we only saw it in passing. Picture this: between three and four a.m. and the rest of the car is sleeping while I’m sitting shot gun talking to Jarv about dating. Up ahead there are several police cars and a firetruck in the right lane, forcing all of the traffic to merge to the left lane a few hundred yards before the first Mesquite exit. We have to slow down, to about 40 mph as we pass the ladder truck that has a large spotlight shining from its partially extended ladder.

Can somebody tell me why the authorities were allowing traffic to pass by while they had a dead body on the freeway? I won’t share details because this blog is SUPPOSED to be funny. But it was clear that the person’s head was the first thing to hit the pavement. So why were they shining a spotlight down on it and standing 20 feet away?

I’ve passed a dead body before, but there were so many cops around it and they were zipping it up in a body bag that I really didn’t see anything. Not this time.

About an hour later, when Mick and Tracy passed by in their car, Annie said there was a sheet over the body. About time.

Checking in from Sunny California

Don’t make fun of me for blogging while on vacation. It’s not like there can be non-stop action and fun. Eventually my brothers’ kids have to take a nap and then the real adult fun starts… we watch Friends and sign on to the internet.

How did I ever vacation before wireless access?

Highlights so far:

• I didn’t know the dead body on the highway just before Mesquite.
• It feels great for my back not to be in a car for hours and hours.
• Sleeping in a bed after driving all night is supremely comfortable.
• Pete, Thane and I worked out at Newport’s 24Hour Saturday night – that’s how dedicated we are.
• Turkey’s win over the Czechs in Eurocup 2008 reminded me about why soccer is the beautiful game.
• The Newport temple’s grounds are beautiful.

The biggest disappointment so far:

• Forgetting my camera battery. Vacation without a camera is a very difficult thing.