“I don’t even have time to have a complex now.” ~Audrey

“You know there’s something terribly wrong when she comes out of the men’s room with a blue otter pop.” ~Brian

“You don’t strike me as the trench-coat type.” ~P.Child to new friend, Liz

I spent time in the mountains this weekend in Wasatch Mountain State Park. It was, of course, bliss up at my parents’ cabin. And for the first time in my life, I went four-wheeling.

Have you ever been on an ATV before?

I want to find a job where I can drive my nieces and nephews up and down the trails in the mountains all the time. Is that too much for a girl to ask?

It was just one of many experiences that made up a great weekend. The only thing that really kept it from perfection was losing my soccer game. That was a bummer.

I needed the great weekend because in a week from today, you might not want to talk to me… for a week or two, or a month. Once this new project at work goes to production, I may not have a life outside of watching it to make sure it behaves. It better be cooperative by the time Thanksgiving rolls around.

Nobody wants to miss out on my Mom’s incredible Thanksgiving dinner to sit at work in front of computers.

Every day at work, I think about how I really ought to bring in a lunch to save money and to eat food that I actually like (because I really don’t like the food they make at our grill here onsite).

And then I go home from work that day.

And guess what I do?

I don’t put anything together for a lunch the next day.

Sometimes I briefly think, oh, I’ll just get something together in the morning before work.

COME ON, LARRIE. You NEVER give yourself more than 10 minutes to get ready.

Like you’ll get up early enough to make lunch, too.

It never happens.

Today, I brought my lunch to work because I had leftovers from the AMAZING dinner I had at Porcupine Grill with Maren last night. Their Chicken Noodle Soup = HEAVEN (or at LEAST terrestrial glory).

I ate lunch at my desk today, but there are many days when I’d prefer the break and to talk about things not related to work. Because of that, I’ve come up with a list to help you, internet, with how to eat lunch with your coworkers.

1. Round Up Coworkers. The first step, of course, is to have people you can actually go with. This may actually be hard for some of you because you either are not the type of person that others particularly want to eat lunch with* or you sit at your desk mumbling and grumbling about how people don’t ask you to go to lunch with them. Guess what? You can ask THEM. (Gasp.) So get out of your seat, walk down your row and ask somebody (probably somebody that you like) if they’d like to go to lunch. Round up multiple people if you’d like. Now, go to lunch.
2. Avoid Hot Topics. The store and the conversations. They don’t have lunch options at the store. It’s probably better in mixed company to avoid deep discussions on politics, religion, or relationships at lunch. You never know who you might offend if you start talking about your major crush on some certain cute boy and the other person would rather talk about her crush on a girl. Just a thought.
3. Don’t Bring Egg Salad. Well, to be honest, I LOVE egg salad. And I don’t usually smell it when people eat that at the table. What you REALLY shouldn’t bring is FISH. And DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVEN IF IT WOULD SOMEHOW SAVE THE WORLD FROM NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, HEAT IT UP IN THE MICROWAVE. You deserve severe punishment in the life after this if you do that. SEVERE.
4. Remember Your Manners. It really shouldn’t be that hard, but some people maybe just never learned that looking like cookie monster while you consume your food is NOT appropriate. There were TWO reasons why you could see all of cookie monster’s food while he ate it. One: he had no lips. Two: he’s a puppet. This means he had no throat for the food to go down. Chew with your lips closed and don’t talk with your mouth full. Do I sound like your mother yet?
5. Don’t Belch. Do I really need to expound on this? I can’t believe I even had to type this, but I do. And I bet Janet can think of who I work with that does this repeatedly throughout the day. Yes, he is a grown man.
6. Be Interesting. Don’t talk about work. It’s a break. Share interesting stories instead. If you don’t have a good story to share, then ask other people questions. There are some really interesting people sitting around you that do lots of things outside of the office. Do you know what they are?**

Great work people. Now go forth and eat with your cube mates.

**You might NOT want to ask, though, if the outside hobbies they have are things like playing Magic or having all-night Dungeons and Dragons parties. Remember this pointer used the word, “interesting”? That’s a KEY component, people.

Yes, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted one of these, but we’re back! Bring on the comments for this week’s caption contest. Isn’t Liberty Park pretty in the fall?

“The marble tile was gorgeous but treacherous and cold.” ~Grandma DD

Halloween and I have a BEAUTIFUL relationship. Pure bliss.

It’s my favorite holiday. FAV.OR.ITE.

What was your costume this year? Leading up to Halloween, I was worried about having a good one. I was dreaming about it even.

Thankfully, though, Halloween stores pop up in random strip malls around here and my friend Emily stepped in as well.

I came up with three costumes. One for work, one for the Friday night party and one for the Saturday night party. Try and guess which one was my favorite.

ETHNIC ZOMBIE of course!*

All the stars aligned this year to provide me with a suitable costume for the party at the Nook Friday night.

Mom lent me capris, I found makeup at a Halloween store, and Pib’s Exchange provided the beret and striped shirt with art print and spider-web nylons for the remainder of my getup. I was pleasantly surprised by how well the makeup turned out. And by pleasant, I mean, eerily surprised by my ghoulish features.

Now I’m just waiting for friends to post pictures from the party on Facebook. So far only Leigh has, but you can only see my face.

So I’m waiting.

*The grey wig for work conjured up plenty of comments and the hippie costume afforded me the opportunity to wear fake eyelashes so 2^nd and 3^rd place were still fabulous costumes.

I’m chomping on Saltines right now.

Apparently, I want to make myself thirsty. Or reminisce about eating lots of these as a child and downing them with 7up on sick days. Yummy diet!

I’m not eating them today because I’m sick.

I’m eating them because they are there.

It’s 4:42 pm on a Friday. I just finished one of my tasks and don’t want to start up a new one this close to the start of a beautiful, holiday weekend.

So I’m trying to keep myself occupied. And I begin to eat Saltines.

I’m so hungry. They aren’t very filling. Why don’t I have a cheeseburger lying on the desk waiting to be consumed instead?

I can’t hear a THING over the crunching of my crackers.

Except for every time I hit the space bar. I have the LOUDEST space bar. Ask all my cube neighbors.

They aren’t making much noise right now, though.

Do you know what a quiet office means?

WHY ARE YOU STILL AT WORK WHEN IT’S SO QUIET?

Nobody else is here.

Go home already.

Who cares if it’s not 5:00 pm yet?

You’re salaried. You got your work done today.

Go home.

Okay. I’m going home.

I need to get my costume ready for tonight.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!

“What? This is what we do on Thursdays.” ~Maren

“It’s Thursday night cuddles.” ~Megs

“You’re petting my head.” ~Maren (to Steph)

…

“Let’s practice hand holding.” ~Steph

“Oh I’m the worst at hand holding. I get bored.” ~Maren