A Little Narcissicm is Good For You

The “good” DOC is not in today. Even though I have to work, he seems to think he can take a holiday for Pioneer Day. Fine; be that way. I will then take the time to talk about ME. Like I never do this on my blog, right? But guess why I know you’ll want to read through this whole list? Because you are FASCINATED with me. I know by some of your survey answers. Yes, this is the same survey that I told you to take before because you will, SERIOUSLY, get a kick out of it. (Link to the left if you haven’t noticed.) On to ME…

100 Things about ME:

100. I was a binky baby—with rosy cheeks and rose-bud lips, as Maren may remind you.

99. I’m a descendant of the very first mayor of Salt Lake City—he was a polygamist so there are MANY descendants, but still… I’m ONE of them.

98. I love asparagus, but refuse to eat it because it makes my pee stink.

97. The tallest guy I’ve dated was 6’8” and he was the best kisser… so far.

96. If I met a man who played soccer, sang, played a musical instrument and was taller than me, I’d be in love.

95. I don’t like flowers unless they’re daisies.

94. When I was a kid, I always wanted to dress up in male costumes: Robin Hood, Peter Pan, Indiana Jones, He-Man—no wait, I’m lying about the last one.

93. I’ve had six dislocations in my life and only fixed two of them.

92. I had a pet cat named Nappy who would take walks around the block with me in the middle of the night—he followed at my right heel.

91. My mom was certain that one of our pet gerbils had a tumor, but I think it happened when I dropped it on the edge of the bed frame. She had to asphyxiate it in a box held up to the van’s exhaust pipe.

90. I have never tried a cigarette, done drugs, or tasted alcohol.

89. I always wanted to be on Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego because I would rock at the geography final.

88. For a few months, I was afraid of dogs, but I got over that by yelling at them when they would growl. I was 14.

87. The middle toe on my right foot is short, crooked and has a scar on top—from a dislocation that turned into surgery, but at least I TRIED to fix this one. My shoulder, rib, jaw, and back are all jealous.

86. I lied on my driver’s license weight when I was 16—I added 10 pounds so it read, 106.

85. I used to down a can of Dr. Pepper in one big swig; somehow, my eyes didn’t even water.

84. I spent a summer lying out by Kow’s pool with her and while she got burned and tanned, my skin did NOTHING.

83. I had a vegan roommate who broke down one night and ate a Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe from Wendy’s while we all sat around watching.

82. My first kiss was when I was 19 and he was drunk.

81. I hate fish unless my parents make it with lots of Cajun or it’s from a Gastronomy restaurant.

80. I no longer date anyone shorter than me—this was a rule I had for many years and I briefly broke it for a wee bit, but it’s back on, forever.

79. I hate donating blood, but do it every couple of months.

78. I love the first few times a guy holds my hand or puts his arm around me because when it’s new, it still tingles.

77. I hate mono when I was in fourth grade, but the doctor had a hard time diagnosing it—in their search, they did a spinal tap and I also remember using the bathroom there and vomiting in my pants which were down around my ankles.

76. I can move both of my eyebrows separate of each other.

75. I hate mushrooms.

74. I always told my teachers in Jr. High and High School that I hated English; my BA is an English degree.

73. I had an F at midterms in my AP Calculus class, but still got a 5 (highest score) on the test. I made a deal with the teacher and got an A by finals.

72. I sing the tenor line an octave high on the third verse when singing hymns in church (soprano for first, alto for second, soprano again for fourth).

71. When I was younger, I shoplifted a necklace from Lagoon.

70. My grumma once gave me some money to gamble with at Las Vegas—as long as I brought her the winnings, which I did.

69. I am mostly English, a bit Scottish and some Swedish, but I have the most affinity for the Swedish.

68. I worked a summer as a door-to-door sales babe, selling books all alone in Chambersburg, PA for 80 hours a week.

67. I made up an additional verse to “I Am A Child of God” when I was having a sleepover at my Grandma’s house.

66. I grew up memorizing lines to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

65. I used to change the channel IMMEDIATELY if a commercial came on for the show, Family Matters.

64. I was photographed for a magazine with my mom, a former member of the Utah Symphony, and Joseph Silverstein, the Symphony’s conductor; they served delicious turkey sandwiches at the photo shoot.

63. I was raised Mormon and when I went to BYU, I realized that I wanted to stay Mormon, but just not in Provo.

62. When I had the previously mentioned Mono, I spent my month home from school climbing up the chestnut tree in the afternoons to read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series.

61. I never died my hair until Lynnie got her hands on it and I’ll never go back.

60. The same day I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled, I went back to school to finish the layout of the school paper in PageMaker and snuck some popcorn at a movie later that night.

59. While my summer in PA was incredibly difficult, it was also the most spiritual experience I’ve had so far.

58. I now own two cats because I bought the first one on a whim and the second one came shortly after because I’m hardly home to keep the first one company.

57. I never asked God for a sign because I see them everywhere.

56. Despite years of fights and threats from mom about sending her to Tulsa and myself to therapy, my sister is now my best friend.

55. When I took birth control to fight acne, my boobs got bigger, but nobody noticed except for Victoria’s Secret.

54. I detest the smell of wine.

53. I took the ACT and was disappointed with my score so I took it again. (First time: 29; second time: 30; yes, I’m a perfectionist and still wasn’t satisfied with the second score.)

52. I called in sick the day after I got back from a bad vacation in New York; I spent the day shopping, getting my haircut and eating cheesecake with a good looking goalie.

51. I hated my arm hair, but refused to shave it until the day that Jon said I couldn’t make fun of him for shaving his until I tried it myself.

50. Lake House is probably the worst movie I’ve seen and yet I own it.

49. I had a huge crush on Mark-Paul Gosselaar in high school (Zach from Saved by the Bell).

48. My current celebrity crush is Chris Noth (Mr. Big from Sex and the City).

47. When I couldn’t sleep in college, I would watch Out of Africa. I’ve watched it MANY times.

46. I quote Tarzan and people look at me funny… “Oh, I see.” (draw out the I)

45. I need to go back to New York and enjoy it.

44. I would like tools for Christmas.

43. I really dislike the fact that there are so many cute pet names men can call women, but what are we supposed to call men?

42. Thunderstorms give me a natural high.

41. I once ate the glob of cheese left over from a very greasy, The Pie pizza because Ali paid me a $1.

40. I hate change unless it’s quarters or Sacajaweas.

39. I once had a doctor clean my ear out with a fancy tool and it hurt like she was sticking a tool in my ear; it caused bleeding.

38. I hate starting an orange and used to put a plastic sandwich bag on my hand to keep from getting the peel under my nails when I peeled it.

37. My favorite soup is the homemade potato soup my roommate Ruth made.

36. I wish my parents still had their Jack Russell Terrier, Moshie.

35. I watched the Stanley Cup Finals one year with my Canadian buddy, Megs and we ate many delicious crepes.

34. I used to wear heels all the time; and then I dislocated my toe.

33. My favorite ice cream is a tie between Rocky Road and Cookie Dough.

32. When I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art I didn’t enjoy it because I would have rather been ice skating in Central Park.

31. I have no tolerance for people who drive in the left lane when they’re not passing.

30. I had a huge crush on Scott Linton when I was a freshman and went to most of the men’s basketball games to watch him (not support my brother who was sitting on the bench).

29. One of my favorite classes at BYU was figure skating, which I reluctantly signed up for because two of my roommates really wanted me to take it with them.

28. I balanced my checkbook for several years and then fell out of the habit.

27. I love cooking, but I hate following a recipe.

26. I love baking and always follow a recipe.

25. I used to sleep on the right side of my bed, but now that I’m in my own place, I sleep on the left side.

24. One of the best sandwiches I ever ate was a tomato sandwich my Grandma made me with toasted whole wheat, mayonnaise, garlic salt and fresh tomatoes from her garden.

23. I love love love my Grandma’s garden. It is my happy place.

22. Favorite snack food: crunchy Cheetos.

21. Favorite candy bar: Butterfinger.

20. I have an incredibly difficult time picking a restaurant.

19. My favorite poet is Robert Frost—but that only happened after studying him in a class my senior year where I really learned about his genius.

18. Favorite book: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

17. I own way to many X-Files DVDs / VHSs for my own good.

16. Favorite movies to quote: So I Married An Axe Murderer, The Emporer’s New Groove, and Tarzan. (Favorite movie mentioned above: Out of Africa.)

15. I wonder if you have more than one therapist at once, are you cheating on them?

14. I always wanted wavy hair.

13. I hate being licked by a dog.

12. I am attracted to men who make me laugh… and are not my brothers.

11. I love buying movies more than watching them.

10. One of my favorite memories of high school is making and watching the movie we created for the Sadies Hawkins dance senior year. (And I had the hottest date: Lance Allred.)

9. I started, but never finished, one of the Dragonlance novels. My mom threw them out.

8. I love fancy jewelry—David Yurman in particular.

7. I love straight-out-of-the-dryer sheets.

6. I love being a tourist in my own city when I’m with my cousin, Laura. This equals great pics.

5. I hated when I was assigned the chore of cleaning up the plums on the deck; they dropped from the tree, were often stepped on, squished and I had to peel them off.

4. I love camping, hiking, and rappelling.

3. I think I might want to have “dirty water” at my wedding; just to annoy my siblings.

2. I used to have a kite in my trunk, just in case, but I gave the last one away to a cute girl as her birthday present; she used it more than me.

1. Mike Hatch once told me that I looked like Britney Spears—at the time it was a compliment, but I hope never to hear that comparison again.

My Dad’s Best-Sellers: One-Page Project Management

Yes, it’s a picture of my computer screen… but it shows the numbers 2 and 3 from Amazon.com’s page titled “The most popular items in Project Management. Updated hourly.” Those two books are both written by my dad, Clark. Rock on, Dad! May the One Page Project Manager continue to bring in the big bucks and pay for the hot tub electrical bill.

(If you think the picture is blurry, it’s not… you should probably get your eyes checked.)

Emma Confirms that I’m Single

“Larrie, when can you get married?” ~Emma

Questioning the Validity of an MSNBC.com poll

I was reading an article from the AP on msnbc.com yesterday about whether or not the media is favoring Obama or McCain with the amount of coverage. The article admitted that Obama was getting the spotlight and poor old McCain was left in the wings. Come on; that’s obvious. I expect the media to be liberal and favor the Democrats. They’re consistent. However, the strange thing is that they set up a supposed poll to see if readers agreed or not. I voted and got back the results. I must admit that I was rather surprised by the number of readers who voted that they, too, see the media as liberal. Well, then I checked in today to see how the numbers had changed.

Somebody who’s knowledgeable in statistics tell me: what are the chances that your percentages will stay EXACTLY THE SAME when you’ve had 103,594 MORE people vote since the first screenshot? Check this out:

Yesterday’s screenshot:

Today’s screenshot:

Weekend Highlights – Late Night Movies, Late Night Soccer and Nothing Early Morning

Friday: I survived work. It was one of those weeks where this was a MIGHTY accomplishment. Go me. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do that night, though. There had been a possibility of a gaggle of girls at my place, but that fell through because of my inability to actually call anyone. I blame that on my phone dying and the need to break in my new phone before making massive amounts of phone calls. Then there was a possibility of a sleepover with the nieces, but that also fell through. It was also possible that I would watch Jarv’s and Jennie’s kids for them, but they recruited Laina to help out (who has WAY more patience than I do so I’m sure none of the kids were sent to sit in the corner in the garage for time out—wait, I would NEVER do that; they just sit in the corner of the LAUNDRY room, better).

Instead, I coerced my coworker to bring her HUGE deli sandwich left over from lunch over so we could save money on dinner. She came with her daughter who gave the cats a workout chasing after toys. She also took videos on her mom’s cell phone of my ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS cats playing with these toys and sent them to my phone. Cute, right?

After they left, I sat around for a while watching TV and could have taken the opportunity to go to bed early, but that right there would be proof enough that THE END OF DAYS WERE NEAR. Instead, I crashed the little party at Pete’s and G’s where I remembered that I’m mad at my brother for moving out of state and taking his wife with him. Grrr. We semi-watched Enchanted, but I kept on getting up to go and check out things like Pete’s new GPS device, Pete’s and G’s new fireplace, and of course to discuss finances with Pete.

I got home late. (Surprise.)

Saturday: I got up around 9:30, had some quick breakfast and then dressed up for Laurie’s funeral. It was good to see so many people there to pay her respect and offer support to her family. Also, I had NO clue that this friend of mine had an affinity for mooning people. I think if I had found that out while she was still alive, I probably would have found out by experiencing it. The stories were funny enough.

After the funeral: errands. Being an adult is über exciting.

Then it was off to Mick and Tracy’s to watch their brood of five. After pizza, a movie and starting a rock band which performed on Emma’s bed, they all fell asleep just in time for my Mom to come and relieve me at 11:00 p.m. to race to my soccer game.

I LOVE the late, late soccer games. If I didn’t have to sleep, I would run around ALL NIGHT LONG because I have the energy to do it. (Except that lately, my lungs haven’t been cooperating so well, but oh well. Must be getting OLD.) We crushed the other team and I had two easy goals in the process. Thanks Mom for your help!

Sunday: I have my new ward so FOOLED. They think I can sing. Well, okay, I CAN sing, but that really just involves me being able to read music and sing on tune. That doesn’t say anything about the tone of my voice. I AM NOT A SOLOIST. And YET… I am singing a solo next week in church. Permission to laugh now. I know, seriously. I fit just fine in a choir, but our ward choir director asked me to sing the last line of the hymn ALL BY MYSELF. I said sure, because, hey maybe somebody will come up and talk to me afterwards.

Somebody: “That sure was brave of you to sing that solo.”

Me: “Why thank you.”

Somebody: “I hope they don’t ask you to do it again. But it WAS brave.”

Me: “Right… what’s your name?”

After church, it was dinner at the parents’ and a little celebration for Thane’s birthday. This is my cool little brother who used to wear TONS of BYU paraphernalia. That used to be our bond—the cougar fans in the Campbell clan. But his blood eventually turned red and we only had our baby pictures left to bond (and fight) over. So instead, he let me play soccer with him. I suddenly realized that my cool brother was also NICE because he was willing to put up with me on the field.

We then finished out the weekend by watching Step Up 2 at Ster’s. Talk about QUALITY entertainment.

I went home that night and had an Epsom salt bath while I drank chamomile tea and read a book. I AM LIVING THE LIFE.

Whistling in the Dark

Since Tuesday, it’s been depressing to walk into work. Can you imagine THAT? But let’s be honest here, internet—for a job, I’ve got a pretty decent place to work, with some entertaining coworkers and all the free coffee I can drink. HOORAY FOR CHOCOLATE MILK!

But lately it’s been dark.

Monday night, I was the last one to leave in my group, around 6:00 p.m. and the security guard (WHO IS SECRETLY MY 70+ YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND AND BRINGS ME CHOCOLATE) stopped by to tell me that the badge readers weren’t working. That meant that when I finally walked out the door, there was NO coming back since my badge wouldn’t be able to unlock the door.

So now let’s take a look at my Tuesday morning: it started off late because for the first time in MANY months, I woke up without any pain (good start for my mesotherapy, eh?) although the waking up part came AFTER my alarm had gone off long enough to turn itself off, sorry neighbors, and AFTER I was supposed to be at work. I quickly grabbed my phone and tried to call Freddy and tell him, but my phone wasn’t working. Every time I opened it, it would start “sending” on its own and call the last contact listed in my recent calls. Eventually, I got my phone to stop doing that for a wee bit, called Freddy, and raced to get ready. I clocked in at 10:17 climbed up to the third floor, walked through the door and stood there in semi-darkness.

What happened? How depressing.

After turning on the lights under my overhead bins in my cube, I began reading through emails only to come across one that made me stop and stare with disbelief for AT LEAST five minutes. That’s how I found out about Laurie Taylor’s sudden death. This is the same La Tay that I had briefly discussed with my Bishop on Sunday because his sister-in-law works for her. I then made plans to stop in on Monday to chat with her because I hadn’t done that for a couple of months. I then was too busy so planned to do it Tuesday. I missed my chance.

The semi-dark work atmosphere did not help. It’s been dim since Tuesday and every day since, I’ve arrived at work, enjoyed the cool, bright mornings as I walk in from the car or from TRAX, then stepped onto the third floor and felt the doldrums roll in.

I hate it.

And I understand: hate is a strong word.

It’s hard to know if it’s more because of the loss of Laurie, the dim lights or a combination, but the jokes around here have been wanting. I’m ready for this week to end so that we can start over and laugh again.

I really like to laugh.

That’s why I have this little blog: my attempts to make myself laugh. And I won’t lie; on most days, I can go back and read things what I’ve written and I crack up at myself.

Clearly, I think I’m funny, but funny took a little vacation this week.

It’ll be back, but La Tay won’t be contributing to the laughter around here anymore. Except she will, because she left plenty of great memories including many jokes and I have a few of them saved in emails she sent me.

Thanks for your friendship, La Tay – Love, Lil’ Kicker.

Touched by Death

DOC: You look tired.

LRE: Thanks for the compliment. I’ll go put some mascara on.

Slightly later…

LRE: How’s that?

DOC: Wow; that opened your eyes right up.

LRE: Wish it made me FEEL awake, too. Oh well. I’m saving on gas so I got up at six this morning to ride TRAX to work.

DOC: That’s not so early.

LRE: It is, too… when you normally wake up at eight and went to bed at 1:30 the night before.

DOC: So do you want to talk about sleeping?

LRE: Nah.

DOC: Oh, do you have a particular topic you’d like to cover?

LRE: Yeah. Over the weekend, I decided that I wanted to have a little chat with you about extended family, but then that changed.

DOC: Why?

LRE: One of my friends and coworkers died on Tuesday.

DOC: Sorry to hear that.

LRE: Yeah. She was only in her 40s so it was very sudden. It seems surreal.

DOC: Do you want to talk about her?

LRE: Not in a public blog. At least nothing more than to tell you that she was hilarious, called me Lil’ Kicker and signed off on her emails to me with LaTay. It was her gangsta name. Hip and short for Laurie Taylor.

DOC: And your gangsta name was Lil’ Kicker? Doesn’t sound that tough… just sounds, well, little.

LRE: All that matters is she thought I was tough enough to DESERVE a gangsta name.

DOC: I’ll give you that; judging from the pictures after the doctor stuck your back full of injections, you ARE tough.

LRE: Thanks.

DOC: You’re welcome.

LRE: It changes your priorities – losing a friend. When I was a senior in high school, I was a little obsessed with death in my journals after two of my friends died within weeks of each other. One of my entries was a list of friends and family that had died.

DOC: That is morbid.

LRE: True, but eventually I learned to look at that list and make another mental list of what those people taught me before they died, or even ways I grew stronger because of their deaths.

DOC: That’s not so morbid.

LRE: No, I think it’s healthy. And after talking to some of the people at work and hearing their anger, grief, doubt, and such, after this, I realized the BIG DIFFERENCE my faith makes. Even though friends and family can be taken away, nobody can take my faith away. It’s nice to have something to lean on in uncertain times.

DOC: And if you’ve seen the gas prices lately, these are certainly uncertain times.

LRE: Right. So I ride TRAX. Save on gas… lost some sleep.

Mesotherapy - Week 1

My mid-back post mesotherapy treatment (pretend I’m wearing a grey tank top) It entailed vitamin injections into the mesoderm to treay year-long pain.

The Wisdom of a Five-Year Old

“It’s easy to take stuff from little people… but not from big because they are tricky.” -Abe

Blast from the Past

I was enjoying a little reminiscing by perusing through pictures and videos stored on my old school PC. And we are talking OLD SCHOOL here, folks. Born in 2000, my old Dell PC is definitely showing his age. If I had the patience, I’d reinstall a new OS followed by all the applications and then restore the files. Seriously, though, I don’t even have time to sleep 8 hours at night so I can’t see that happening prior to retirement. Instead, I managed to remove a handful of applications and get it to work, um, not well, but at least it will turn on and connect to internet.

Here comes the fun part… for YOU. That’s right, I’m thinking of you, internet. And here it is… an INCREDIBLY random slideshow of old pictures from my PC. In no particular order, but RANDOM beyond all reason. Enjoy.

UPDATE: I removed the Autoplay from the slideshow. I swear I did, but it didn’t work once I tried to repost it to my blog. I PROMISE I’M NOT A COMPUTER IDIOT. Boo to that “software.” That’s what I get for using something online and free.

Instead, here’s a link to go and check it out. Larrie’s random slideshow is worth seeing if you knew me from, I think, 1999-2004. Or there abouts.